Sirened

 In 1904 John D. Rockefeller’s Standard Oil was dismantled into 34 seperate oil companies. Two of those companies eventually became Exxon and Mobil. In 1999 the government allowed the two oil giants to reunite as ExxonMobil. It has subsequently become the largest publicly traded company in the world.

In 2005, skyrocketing oil prices were blamed on the hurricanes and instability in the Middle East. Yet, ExxonMobil reported 36 billion in profits in 2005! This was a 300% profit increase from their meager 11.5 billion dollar profit in 2002. And amazingly, they have managed this substantial increase in sales ($370 billion in 2005) by cutting 16,000 jobs in 4 years. In 2001, the company employeed 97,900 employees. In 2005 their emplyees totaled 83,700. Congratulations fellas!

So when President Bush tells us the economy is strong he sure is right. It’s damn strong for Standard Oil, um, we mean ExxonMobil. Sure they have price gauged and cut jobs but hey shit happens. We just can’t wait to see how this year’s high oil prices have benefited our economy (ExxonMobil investors). Are you willing to bet the over or under on a 40 billion dollar profit? We think we’ll take the over and hell maybe we should call my broker to get some Standard Oil shares.

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