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SIRENED: Dirty Politics,Cleaned

Archive for February 2007

February 19th, 2007

Jet Blue CEO Declares Company Is A Nightmare

Jet Blue Airways has been a disaster over the past week. The inclement weather in the northeast has exposed their lack of an adequate reservation system and internal means of communication. This led to not being able to cancel enough flights and left numerous passengers stranded on tarmacs.
Their CEO and founder David G. Neeleman has not shyed away […]

By Alex -- 0 comments

February 16th, 2007

Would You Like Salmonella With That Jelly?

If you have purchased a jar of Peter Pan peanut butter that begins with the numbers 2111, you may be the unlucky winner of salmonella poisoning! Congratulations!
The outbreak is so widespread that even ex-football player and morning radio host Mike Golic of ESPN’s Mike and Mike in the Morning was out sick from the peanut buttery illness.
I […]

By Alex -- 0 comments

February 16th, 2007

Circuit City Closing Down Stores Due to Shitty Service

Recently, Circuit City announced that they will be closing 61 stores nationwide. This came as zero surprise to me considering how crummy their customer service has become. Sure, there are many great employees at Circuit City, but I recently had an experience that left me knowing that the place was going down.
A few months […]

By Alex -- 58 comments

February 16th, 2007

Republicans Desperate to Find Obama Vaccine

With Barack Obama fever continuing to spread throughout the nation, Republicans are eager to create an anti-black Presidential candidate vaccine. Even Democratic Senator Joe Biden made it evident that this is necessary by saying that it’s unusual for a black person to be clean and well spoken.
Obama fever is not only spreading throughout the black […]

By Alex -- 2 comments

February 15th, 2007

Bush Says Batman Is Arming Iraqi Insurgents

Yesterday, President Bush announced that Iran is definitely arming the insurgency that is killing both Americans and Iraqi’s.
Today, Bush made a shocking allegation that Batman has also been in on the action. Apparently, with Gotham cleansed of evil, Batman has become bored and decided to interject into the Iraqi rebuilding process. But not understanding the convoluted nature of Iraqi […]

By Alex -- 0 comments

February 14th, 2007

Happy Hallmark/Shiny Gems Day America!

Happy Valentines/Hallmark Day America! If you haven’t made a reservation for you and that special someone, we hope you are prepared to wait 2 hours for a seat at Macaroni Grill. Even if you think you’re getting there early, your not, unless you arrive at 4pm.
But it is a wonderful day to celebrate and cherish […]

By Alex -- 0 comments

February 14th, 2007

China Has Stephen Colbert Shaking In His Trousers

On last night’s Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert addressed the reasons why we should fear China. He coined the word “frenemy” to describe them seeing as how they are both a friend and enemy to our interests. They make cheap tube socks but compete for the fossil fuels we are willing to kill for.
The Chinese keep making more […]

By Alex -- 2 comments

February 13th, 2007

Romney Says He Won’t Push Polygamist Views on America

Today, former Massachusetts Governor and Mormon, Mitt Romney announced that he is running for President.
Romney went back to his old stomping ground in Michigan to make the announcement. He drew heavy applause when he said that the US must push on in Iraq and believes in the troop escalation. Until when? Who knows, concrete and planned timetables ‘embolden’ the […]

By Alex -- 2 comments

February 13th, 2007

Dick Slides By Again

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Today, the defense team in the Scooter Libby trial said that Dick Cheney would not be called to testify. It was rumored that he might take the stand as a character witness for Libby.
But thus, Dick’s ‘untouchables’ as we have coined them, slide by again. Clinton got impeached for lying about a blow job. This guy […]

By Alex -- 0 comments

February 12th, 2007

What Will Happen to Strippers With Dollar Coin?

The US is taking another crack at getting our monetary system more efficient and up to speed with other nations. That’s right, the dollar coin is being re-introduced for a 3rd time. This time, the coins will begin with George Washington and change presidents every 3 months for 4 years.
Paper dollars will still be printed […]

By Alex -- 4 comments