Sirened

Jet Blue Airways has been a disaster over the past week. The inclement weather in the northeast has exposed their lack of an adequate reservation system and internal means of communication. This led to not being able to cancel enough flights and left numerous passengers stranded on tarmacs.
Their CEO and founder David G. Neeleman has not shyed away from the criticism and has openly admitted to the problems within the airline. He has promised to improve the company’s infrastructure and compensate customers for Jet Blue’s current and future mishaps.
Flying has become increasingly annoying over the last several years. Weather has always been an issue, but …read more

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If you have purchased a jar of Peter Pan peanut butter that begins with the numbers 2111, you may be the unlucky winner of salmonella poisoning! Congratulations!
The outbreak is so widespread that even ex-football player and morning radio host Mike Golic of ESPN’s Mike and Mike in the Morning was out sick from the peanut buttery illness.
I checked the jar of my honey roast Peter Pan peanut butter and sure enough, the code started with 2111. I had already eaten some, but fortunately I did not win food poisoning. Perhaps I have built up the anti-bodies to salmonella.
Apparently, you can get your $2 dollars back by sending …read more

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Recently, Circuit City announced that they will be closing 61 stores nationwide. This came as zero surprise to me considering how crummy their customer service has become. Sure, there are many great employees at Circuit City, but I recently had an experience that left me knowing that the place was going down.
A few months back I went to a Circuit City store near Orlando, FL. I was looking to buy a video camera that was regularly priced at $600 but they had as an “open box” for $500. I inquired about it and was told it was missing the …read more

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With Barack Obama fever continuing to spread throughout the nation, Republicans are eager to create an anti-black Presidential candidate vaccine. Even Democratic Senator Joe Biden made it evident that this is necessary by saying that it’s unusual for a black person to be clean and well spoken.
Obama fever is not only spreading throughout the black community, anxious to actually be represented at all in the White House, but in other areas as well. Many Americans seem fed up with Non-English Speaking and pretend-rancher Presidents who as Kanye West said “hates black people.”
Republicans aren’t huge fans of black people because they tend not to …read more

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Yesterday, President Bush announced that Iran is definitely arming the insurgency that is killing both Americans and Iraqi’s.
Today, Bush made a shocking allegation that Batman has also been in on the action. Apparently, with Gotham cleansed of evil, Batman has become bored and decided to interject into the Iraqi rebuilding process. But not understanding the convoluted nature of Iraqi society, Batman has apparently undermined both American and Iranian interests in the country.
“He has no idea who he is arming” an American official stated on condition of anonymity. “It’s a lot easier to tell who is good and who is evil in Gotham, but over …read more

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Happy Valentines/Hallmark Day America! If you haven’t made a reservation for you and that special someone, we hope you are prepared to wait 2 hours for a seat at Macaroni Grill. Even if you think you’re getting there early, your not, unless you arrive at 4pm.
But it is a wonderful day to celebrate and cherish the person that you love. Granted, there are 365 days in the year to do this, but this is the day to best express your love. So says the companies that have created this day to make you feel obliged to do something extraordinary. And for …read more

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On last night’s Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert addressed the reasons why we should fear China. He coined the word “frenemy” to describe them seeing as how they are both a friend and enemy to our interests. They make cheap tube socks but compete for the fossil fuels we are willing to kill for.
The Chinese keep making more and more of our junk. Wal-Mart might as well just wave the Chinese flag in their stores. When your there, good luck finding something that a Chinese person hasn’t touched.
One thing the US is beating China in is number of prisoners. Despite China being four …read more

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Today, former Massachusetts Governor and Mormon, Mitt Romney announced that he is running for President.
Romney went back to his old stomping ground in Michigan to make the announcement. He drew heavy applause when he said that the US must push on in Iraq and believes in the troop escalation. Until when? Who knows, concrete and planned timetables ‘embolden’ the terrorists in the abstract war against them.
Romney is a Mormon but does not believe in having multiple wives. Too bad. If he got elected President and introduced polygamy we could have something else in common with fundamentalist Muslims.

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 Today, the defense team in the Scooter Libby trial said that Dick Cheney would not be called to testify. It was rumored that he might take the stand as a character witness for Libby.
But thus, Dick’s ‘untouchables’ as we have coined them, slide by again. Clinton got impeached for lying about a blow job. This guy has consistently lied about Iraq, shot a man in the face, held contradictory views about gays (his daughter being the exception) and done numerous other misdeeds with zero repercussions.
It is for these reasons that we refer to Cheney’s ‘untouchables.’ Perhaps not even kryptonite can slow this man down. …read more

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The US is taking another crack at getting our monetary system more efficient and up to speed with other nations. That’s right, the dollar coin is being re-introduced for a 3rd time. This time, the coins will begin with George Washington and change presidents every 3 months for 4 years.
Paper dollars will still be printed simultaneously however, as most Americans do not favor the cheaper to produce dollar coins. Countries like Canada, Australia and the EU countries have done away with paper ones, with 5 dollar notes being the smallest denomination you can get in those countries.
In a poll taken by the AP-Ipsos, …read more

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