This is Why We Import Foreign Students

While many 16 year olds are making out under bleachers, smoking cigarettes and participating in binge drinking and illecit drugs, 16 year old Andrew Hsu has just graduated from the University of Washington with a triple degree in neurobiology, biochemistry and chemistry. This summer he is starting his doctoral degree at Stanford.

 Not surprisingly though, Hsu has yet to go on a date. Some 16 year olds have been on several ”dates” at the same time. And unless Hsu makes a trip down to Tijuana, he isn’t even old enough for the strip club yet. Oh well, maybe he can pimp it when he gets a doctorate at 18 and his rivals are taking foundations of English at the community college while bagging groceries part time.

7 Responses to “This is Why We Import Foreign Students”

  1.   Mark
    June 19th, 2007 | 7:58 pm

    Not everybody “peaks” at the same age.

  2.   desu
    June 19th, 2007 | 8:20 pm

    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

  3.   subcorpus
    June 20th, 2007 | 4:19 am

    some fun wudnt hurt …
    good luck to mr. hsu …

  4.   Christina
    June 20th, 2007 | 5:05 am

    Yes, because everyone who doesn’t graduate with a triple degree is obviously a moron.

    Also, could you explain your title? He’s not a foreign student. He grew up in America.

  5.   Rebecca
    June 20th, 2007 | 7:23 pm

    When I was 16, I was taking Honors courses in high school. I am now moving on to my sophomore year of college and I have never smoked (anything), never drank alcohol (or energy drinks for that matter), and my boyfriend and I are committed to being virgins until our wedding night. I also have several friends who have the same goal. So, what would that tell you? NOT EVERYONE IS THE SAME. Stop watching programs that encourage sex among teens and drug usage; go out into the real world and get to know the kids around you.

    Oh, and how about instead of sitting on your butt complaining about the youth today, you go out and mentor children so they have a chance before it’s too late.

  6.   dr. cool
    June 20th, 2007 | 8:11 pm

    yeah well i have a degree in being social and that will take you farther than 10 degrees in bioanything. id choose poon over money any day of the week

  7.   brad
    June 21st, 2007 | 2:48 am

    That’s great and all, if Andrew Hsu wants to graduate with a Doctorate at 18, GREAT! if i want to drink myself silly, party for days, and make out with 14 random women, that’s what I shall do. I’ve got one life to live, and I do not intend to be bored for longer than i must.

    and by the way, in the midst of all this sinning, I managed to pull a 1510 on the SAT’s and breeze through my first two years of college pretty easily, so let’s avoid stereotypes as much as possible. It shows ignorance, and poor journalistic quality.


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