Sirened

This isn’t new news but I just found out about this myself so I figured it was worth sharing-especially with it being Black Friday and all. Yup, that’s right, back on August 3rd OJ Simpson officially endorsed Hillary Clinton for president! This was before him and his goons stole his stuff back at gun point at the Palace Station hotel. It’s too bad that the all important OJ endorsement has been tarnished by that Vegas incident. I’m sure Hillary regrets sending OJ those new gloves as a thank you gesture.

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Well, it’s Black Friday so that means it’s every man, woman, child and invalid for themselves in order to get the best deals. There are only so many discounted mega plasma LCD HDTV’s so if you’re not bigger, faster and more brutal, chances are you won’t get your paws on one.
Actually, as long as you start camping out at Best Buy right after your Thanksgiving meal, you should be cool as far as getting the precious you desire. Just don’t let that fucking Gollum get in your way!
Image from this joint.

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Hope your Thanksgiving is filled with delicious food, good times and not too many annoying family members. And may the pardoned turkey enjoy his day leading the Thanksgiving Day parade at Disney’s Magic Kingdom. Did you know that the pardoned turkey flies first class from Washington to Orlando? Yup, that’s your hard earned tax dollars at work! Anyways, enjoy the stuffing!
Image of turkey de-balling George Bush from this joint.

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Want to avoid the plumber on Thanksgiving? You should consider these tips, and really, who wants to see a plumbers crack while your trying to enjoy a leftover turkey leg?
Want to see where all the Black Friday deals are on one website? Check out blackfriday.com Just don’t forget your soul on your way out.
Do you care about being healthy for Thanksgiving? I don’t, but if you do, check out these tips for a healthier Thanksgiving on healthcastle.com Apparently the average Thanksgiving day meal has over 2,000 calories. Looks like I won’t be hitting the beach this Christmas.
Want to spice up this Thanksgiving and …read more

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This was Mitt Romney last month at some South Carolina ho down where he was randomly mingling with the locals. Then out of the blue he was attacked by 3 god hating Hooters girls who demanded a picture with him. Personally, I like the awkward smile on Mitt’s face here. He has to pose for the picture because he’s a politician and it’s innocent enough, but you can also tell that he’s liking this kind of attention. And why not? It sure beats having to hug the old hag with warts at the local diner.
Perhaps deep down he …read more

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There’s a new list of most dangerous US cities and the usual suspects are at the top again. Cities make the list by being leaders in murders, rapes, robberies, assaults and car thefts (and their population must be at least 75,000). The reason I’m listing 11 is because Orlando is where I grew up and was one of the biggest movers on the most dangerous cities list, the year previous Orlando was ranked 25th. I live in Tampa now and we only came in 74th which is completely shocking to me. I think we should be way higher! Clearly it’s a real jungle everywhere. Anyways, here’s the …read more

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On Sunday, rednecks everywhere will be glued to their TV’s as they watch the final race of the NASCAR season. The race will be filled with drama as Jimmie Johnson is looking to hold off Jeff Gordon to win a trophy, some cash, a trailer, shotgun, big mouth bass and most importantly, a cold refreshing 12 pack of Busch beer that will leave him with an earth shattering hangover.
There should be lots of interesting plot twists here as several guys who drill lug nuts may be switched to the role of gas pumper. One thing that will not change is that the drivers …read more

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Last night the democrats held another debate where most of the same topics were discussed with as much in-depth analysis as ESPN’s Chris Berman’s 2 minute football drill. Unfortunately, Chris Dodd was not given the opportunity to bring up his hypothetical lesbian daughters like he has enjoyed doing in the past. And Dennis Kusinich did not get to talk about UFO’s nor did Hillary speak in any phony southern accents.
Mike Gravel wasn’t there either, so overall it was an extremely boring debate. Joe Biden is the only one that provides any comic relief now as he waits for a good opportunity to make one of his …read more

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Hey, welcome to the dealership folks. Sir, would you mind looking at some of the vehicles at the other end of the lot so I can bang your wife in the blue minivan? 
Forbes recently came out with a list of 10 things you should not say to a car dealer. Some are obvious, a couple not so much. 
10. “I think you can do a lot better than that.”
9. “Sure, I’ll look at the numbers with you.”
8. “What’s the lowest price you can give me?”
7. “I’ll take whatever the popular options are.”
6. “Oh, I’ve wanted one of these all my life.”
5. “I’m not …read more

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Since Mike Gravel has been running for the democratic presidential nomination, he has never exceeded poll numbers that are beyond the 3 percentage point margin of error. And now that Gravel is polling at about 0.5% and did not appear at the last major democratic debate, he is within the margin of error of not actually existing.
Gravel is the democratic version of Ron Paul except he is much angrier and more senile. Gravel has also not been able to generate the large internet based grassroots effort that Ron Paul has. Paul, who national is polling at about 4%, recently raised $4 million dollars in one …read more

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