Sirened

This is Rudy Giuliani’s chipper new holiday ad. He seems very out of sorts here without 9/11 coming out of his mouth. Come on Rudy, you can’t squeeze that into a holiday greeting? That’s weak; I thought you were tough on terror.
Anyways, looks like Rudolph just landed himself another huge endorsement with Santa Claus. Santa took some time off during his busiest week to sit down with Rudy to shoot this political ad. So while it’s not explicitly said here, would Santa really go out of his way for someone he wasn’t endorsing?
It’s weird because Santa normally stays …read more

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Here’s a thank you message from Senator Chris Dodd to everyone who’s helped him take a serious stand on an unpopular president in the midst of his own presidential run. Dodd and some other big name democrats took a stand on the Senate floor against immunity for the phone companies for helping President Num Nuts’ goons with listening in on your conversations.
So now all this nonsense about immunity for phone companies gets pushed back until all these annoying holidays are over. And by the way, while you’re at it with helping Dodd stand up for the Constitution, can you …read more

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Lots of candidates have been seeking the much coveted Jesus Christ endorsement and I think Mike Huckabee may have just scored it! Huckabee’s latest campaign ad is clearly pandering for the lord and savior’s vote and that white cross in the background really hammers home the idea (no pun intended).
Anyways, it will be hard for any of the candidates to out-Jesus former minister Mike Huckabee unless perhaps Tom Tancredo comes out with a campaign ad showing simulated air strikes on Mecca.

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It’s just a week until Christmas and lots of kids are being extra good in anticipation of Santa’s upcoming visit. But Sirened would like to remind all kids that the best way for optimal gift receiving is to upgrade to parents that are in a higher tax bracket. Either that or befriend a wealthy and lonely old person who has nobody else to give stuff to. Good luck!
Christmas is about gifts and cash?!? Get the fuck out!
Will ordinary gifts just not cut it this year? If that’s the case check out these super premium gift ideas.
There’s a whole lotta Santa Claus parades going on …read more

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The Ron Paul blimp did not get to tea bag Boston on December 16th as blimp supporters had hoped. There was that massive snow storm so the blimp was forced to hover around the Carolina’s as Ron Paul supporters gloated about having the first blimp in presidential election history.
They did however manage to raise $6 million dollars for Ron Paul in honor of the 234th anniversary of the Boston tea party. It’s the second coming of the American Revolution (apparently) and everyone is invited to vote for Ron Paul, or something. Speaking of which, where is my Ron Paul spam? I know you guys love …read more

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Well, it’s December and that means there’s another installment of President Num Nuts, his family and his two stupid dogs parading around the White House making jackasses of themselves. In this edition, Barney and Miss Beasley are seeking to be junior national park rangers but ‘The Decider’ decides that they need to learn about national parks while he goes off and presumably learns about geography and the English language.
Former British Prime Minister and President Num Nuts minion Tony Blair makes a special appearance to personally congratulate Bush’s dogs on achieving their stupid fake accomplishment. It’s nice to see Tony …read more

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Well, it’s just 10 days until Christmas and Santa’s elves are working extra hard to get those toys ready for all the good little boys and girls. Of course, you don’t really need to be that good-what matters more here kids is what tax bracket your parents fall into. Santa much prefers higher tax brackets and tends to reward these children much more.  
But luckily Santa has been working extra hard to make more cost efficient toys so middle and lower class kids can get even more crap to rot their brains with items. For starters he has gotten rid of the …read more

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Did you miss the last democratic debate before the Iowa Caucus? I know I did! And so did Dennis Kucinich but not by his own will-he got Graveled! The republicans allowed their token black candidate Alan Keyes into their final debate but Kucinich, who actually registers in polls, was shunned by the Des Moines Register debate.
The debate was reduced to six dems-the zeros: Chris Dodd and Bill Richardson, no chance Joe Biden, slim chance in hell John Edwards, marginal chance Barack Obama and the likely appointed winner Hillary Clinton.
They rambled back and forth, Obama stood up for Joe Biden for a stupid racial comment he made last year, …read more

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Really? Wow, and we just thought that it was an amazing accomplishment for a 44 year old man to naturally blow away big league batters with his monster fastball. Yup, just like we thought it was natural for Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds to all crush Roger Maris’ home run record. The ball is juiced everyone said! Nope, not the ball, it was the dudes.
So now that Senator George Mitchell has given his report on steroid use in baseball, is it any surprise that Roger Clemens name was mentioned? We live in a day and age where if some athletic feet …read more

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I was cruising around the internets and decided to swing by High Times to see what the medical marijuana lobbyists were up to. And by golly, there he was, Willie Nelson with all his glorious bud!
I found this a bit curious since he was recently arrested for weed possession in Louisiana when his Mystery Smoke Machine was randomly pulled over. This of course was Toby Keith’s fault since the week previous he was on The Colbert Report and told Stephen Colbert that he smoked weed on Willie Nelson’s bus because that’s just what you do on there.
Anyways, Willie obviously doesn’t care, besides, dude …read more

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