Sirened

Really? Wow, and we just thought that it was an amazing accomplishment for a 44 year old man to naturally blow away big league batters with his monster fastball. Yup, just like we thought it was natural for Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds to all crush Roger Maris’ home run record. The ball is juiced everyone said! Nope, not the ball, it was the dudes.

So now that Senator George Mitchell has given his report on steroid use in baseball, is it any surprise that Roger Clemens name was mentioned? We live in a day and age where if some athletic feet seems too phenomenal to believe, it probably is. Well, that is without injecting yourself with bovine growth hormones or something.

When I was in high school I really wanted to play linebacker for the football team. Problem was, I was a smidge under 5′10 and only 170 pounds, and not a very solid 170 at that. If only I juiced!! Perhaps I could have grown to be 6′3 and 250 pounds of solid steel that could break through a large offensive line and crush a quarterback. Maybe I could have gotten a scholarship to Penn State and gone on to the pros to make millions. It’s a stretch but seriously, I’ll never know. If only I juiced!

Jose Canseco who is still massive (and still an opportunistic asshole), was recently on Sports Unfiltered and told Dennis Miller that steroids not only made him bulkier and faster but also made him taller! Amazing!

Anyways, I blame my naivety for not currently being a millionaire pro athlete. Kudos to all you smart guys!

A steroid raging Roger Clemens from this joint.

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