Getting Out of Debt Tip #1: Open a Nigerian Bank Account
Last week I talked about the 1.1 trillion dollars that Americans owe banks in equity loans and promised to give tips on how you can get out of debt and still purchase that gorgeous catamaran you so desire. So here it is:
Open a Nigerian Bank Account: We’ve all gotten the emails, Nigerians have more money than they know what to do with. That’s why they’re always offering to give it away!
I was just watching CNN International and actually saw a commercial for a Nigerian bank (I wish I caught the name). But I thought it was pretty fantastic that uber wealthy Nigerian banks want to offer everyone a piece of their golden money pie.
This website has a list of Nigerian banks and also has some advertising for Nigerian girls (if that’s your bag). Now, your next question might be ‘which Nigerian bank should I go with?’ or ‘isn’t this risky?’ Well, it doesn’t matter which Nigerian bank you go with and no it’s not risky because Nigerians crap money. I don’t have the tables in front of me but I believe their locked box with no key savings account yields about 1 million percent (shortly after your death). Don’t touch their equity loans though-ouch! I believe defaulting on those loans results in genital shocking and/or decapitation.
Photo from Flickr Creative Commons
9 Comments
I AM PETER NDUKA I AM FROM USA I WANT TO OPEN BANK ACCOUNT IN NIGERIAN
Sure, just pass along your personal details and I will speak to my banking colleagues in Nigeria to get you their premium rate…just kidding, please don’t
i am a nigerian i want to open us bank account
olaoluwa odesesan- It’s not all that it’s cracked up to be. You’re better off opening say, a Dutch bank account. Max interest they are allowed to charge you on a credit card is 12%.
I want to believe that Alex is not an African and definitely not a Nigerian.How can he/she be so myopic and naive about the NIGERIAN banks. first, has he/she not noticed or heard on the same cnn, how despite incessant kidnappings, the foreign businesses and multinationals in Nigeria refuses to move out…its because our country is a goldmine…the most vibrant market in Africa, if not the world! Our banks like several others in the world, boast of highly intelligent corporate business practitioners. to tell the world that our banks are risky is to hit below the belt in a most mediocre manner and filled with a dose of unnecessary resentments…Lovers of Naija, ignore this so called humpty dumpty.
This is incredible. I’m surprised that b5 let you on their network with such crap. Did you ever hear of research?
Sure, everyone knows about the so called “Nigerian Scam” which may or may not have originated in Nigeria as it’s roots can be traced to a very old confidence scam called “The Spanish Prisoner”. Some of us Nigerians have received these emails as well. They are crass and downright stupid.
But for you to make such idiotic statements as “Nigerians crap money” and other dumb assertions in your post is just unacceptable. If you get conned by someone sending out one of those letters I dare say you deserve it, ‘cos you can only get sucked in on account of greed.
If I ask you to come and stand in as the next of kin to George W Bush, and even though you’re not even from the same state as him you oblige, then you so deserve to be taken for every penny you’re worth.
What’s more annoying is that there’s way more fraud perpetrated in the US and in Europe but you just have to label it all “Nigerian”.
Who made Nigeria the poster child for fraud???
That you would attempt to rubbish the Nigerian Banking industry on account of the wayward behaviour of some just doesn’t cut it. Get your head out of your arse already. Sheesh.
Luminus- Dude, it was a joke, look that up in the dictionary.
But seriously, sorry that you were offended. Please feel free to visit other sites on the internet.
Alex, you may have intended it to be a joke but it’s in really bad taste. Remember that you have a circle of influence, whether you know it or not and some people will take what you say at face value and run with it.
That’s how come tons of people are surprised when they come to Nigeria and find that we don’t swing from trees a la Tarzan.
Luminus- Yes the taste of the joke is suspect but this site isn’t meant to be tasteful.
I poke fun at a wide variety of things on this site and whenever people take something that isn’t meant to be serious, seriously, I tell them not to.
If I listened to everyone’s advice, I would have nothing to write about.