Sirened

Another month has come and gone, and slowly we’re all getting older and crustier. Here’s a look back at some of the highlights from June.
Prescription drugs kill more people than illegal drugs. We also learned that nobody in the state of Florida died from marijuana in 2007.
The fact that nobody died from marijuana in Florida led me to wonder, is it even humanely possible to die from an overdose of weed?
June saw Europe go nuts with Euro Cup fever. So I decided to list 10 things that annoy me about soccer.
John McCain might be old and decrepit now, but …read more

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Yup, sure looks like one.
photo credit: me

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Last night Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton appeared together at a fund raiser, not for his campaign though, to re-pay her campaign debts. Obama announced that he had personally written a check for $2,300 in honor of Mrs. Clinton’s unsuccessful do whatever the hell it takes to become the most powerful person on the planet run.
You certainly have to question the motives of a person who finances so much of their own money (20 million) for a run at the presidency (also see Mitt Romney). But you know, if you lose, and you championed your campaign as that of working …read more

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Holy cannelloni! It’s a spicy meataball! The Italian Club of Seattle has come out and criticized this political ad put out by the Washington State Democratic Party as being “racist.”
The ad against Washington state gubernatorial candidate and Italian American Dino Rossi (R) portrays him as having some shady business connections, pretty standard in politics. Problem: the ad is set to the theme song of The Sopranos!
Come on, at least it’s a good song and it’s not like it shows anyone getting whacked. It only implies people are getting whacked.

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If Barack Obama truly is the next JFK, he certainly needs a blond bomb shell to prove it. Happy birthday mister presidential hopeful because you’ve found that in Scarlett Johansson!
In a June 10th article on Politico.com, Johansson said “You’d imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly traveling and constantly ‘on’ — how can he return these personal e-mails?” Yeah sure, you would think that if it was Rosie O’Donnell or Whoopi Goldberg but it’s Scarlett Johansson. You make time!
In that Politico interview, Johansson also talked about how she’s helping her crush get elected president “I’ll tell them I …read more

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This is Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary talking about Ryanair’s plans for transcontinental flights. In economy you’ll be able to fly dirt cheap, but they’ll be no frills, so you’ll have to bring your own oral sex. To compensate, business class seats will be very expensive because they will include blow jobs. So screw you Virgin Airlines!
And wow, while American air travel continues to get suckier and suckier by the day, Ryanair plans to literally get you sucked while you fly.

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The US economy needs a jump start and perhaps the presidential elections will be just the ticket. At the moment you can pick up John McCain condoms at McCaincondoms.com. Don’t think these are just novelty condoms either, they are in fact the real deal!
McCain condoms are “old but not expired” and the site advertises that you should “give your ‘troops’ the protection they need.”
The condoms aren’t cheap, they are $9.95 for a pair plus $3 for shipping and handling. But hey, if you want to last longer I’m sure seeing John McCain on your johnson will be right for …read more

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Effective July 1st, the Netherlands will be joining several other EU countries in banning smoking inside all restaurants, bars and clubs. But of course, since it’s the Netherlands there is a wonderful kicker, the ban is only on tobacco!
For awhile, many people were concerned that the smoking ban would bring an end to the Netherlands famous “coffee shops.” And if this were the case, come July 1st, some 200 businesses in Amsterdam alone would be no longer.
The future of coffee shops in the Netherlands is still an uncertain one, but for the time being they will be safe. Patrons will …read more

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The world of comedy got hit upside the head this morning with the sudden death of George Carlin at the age of 71. Carlin had a history of heart problems, having had a heart attack in 80’s and two open heart surgeries in that decade as well. Yesterday he checked himself into the hospital complaining of chest pains, this morning he died.
For decades George Carlin entertained us with his scathing critiques on politics, religion and the fun little nuances of society. Throughout his very long and extremely successful career, he was able to shed light on so many of …read more

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I believe the Dutch translation is “smoking is cool.”
photo credit: personal collection

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