Campaign Manager of an African Election
The recent “re-election” of Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe got me thinking, what sort of qualities are required to be the campaign manager of a dictatorial African election? And what types of decisions need to be made in order to secure victory?
First, qualifications of a campaign manager:
1)Military experience preferred (not so much as to overtake it though).
2)Must show an ability to intimidate.
3)Must not be afraid to destroy dissidents.
Strategies involved:
1)Must arm supporters (this is usually easier for the incumbent dictator, particular if he also heads the military). If the dictator in power does not control the military however, the general who does makes for a great opposition candidate.
2)The areas with the largest concentration of opponents must have the greatest obstacles to vote. Opponents should be willing to dodge machine gun fire.
3)Feeding supporters. People need to eat and if you feed them right before they hit the ballot box, this will be taken into heavy consideration.
4)How many dead people can vote without the UN noticing? Of course, this doesn’t really matter anyways as the UN can only voice their displeasure, without taking significant action.
I’m not sure I have what it takes for this position but I’m willing to discuss any offers. If you are a dictator in power or a general seeking power and are interested in my services, please email me.
photo credit: flickr
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