Sirened

As our crew of presidential sweat hogs continued their mutual urination fest this morning, fear-induced anal seepage splattered the floor of every  exchange and many a corporate boardroom.
As news of Lehman’s collapse and Merrill’s sale struck fear in the hearts of anyone with anything to lose, the gubmint strained its PR mechanisms to send out messages of hope, all with the same subtext: you’re all gonna die.
The Treasury Secretary sounded like a guy praising the Titanic’s hull structure even as he pushed old ladies and children out of the way to commandeer a lifeboat.
It’s not a good sign when the …read more

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All this Palin flogging is starting to reduce the ridicule richly deserved by both the presidential tickets. Frankly, I haven’t seen such a bucket of quivering electoral slime since Reagan got elected president the first time around.
So here’s a bunch of potshots fired by various loose cannons at all and sundry, starting with an imaginative listen at what might have ended up on John Kerry’s answering machine at the beginning of the year.
Don’t miss the links to various insulting images below the video. Viewers beware: no one who is capable of being offended by anything should …read more

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As I was reading about the Bush bailout of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae last night, I wondered if either of the geniuses currently running for president in this mighty nation have any idea how much that $200 billion cash injection is going to cost the voters.
The I started thinking about that other little off-budget item, the cost of occupying Iraq, which may go over the $3 trillion mark. The interesting thing about that number, as explicated in the Washington Post, is that it started out as an estimate of $50 billion.
Il Douche’s administration runs up expenses like a contractor …read more

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NBC news has announced that Chris Matthews and Ron Burgundy Keith Olbermann will not anchor MSNBC’s coverage during the presidential debates and on election night. Instead, David Gregory will get the nod and Matthews and Olbermann will be forced to cock fight, mostly off air.
This is serious though because MSNBC has become the counter to Fox News. Fox is obviously unfair and unbalanced and they are #1 on cable news because of it. The reason: Fox News doesn’t have to fight for an audience like CNN and MSNBC do. Those networks must share a largely left leaning audience while Fox …read more

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This has been a painful few days watching the nazi republican party convention.
The republican platform for change said it all in who their keynote speaker was. Rudy ‘9/11′ Giuliani. A man who has profited off that horrific day with book sales and based his entire presidential bid on scaring Americans into voting for him.
Fortunately Giuliani’s scare tactics didn’t work for his own political gain, even with republicans. It seemed the more people saw of Giuliani the more they disliked him. That’s why he retreated to my old home state of Florida, camped out and ran outrageous fear mongering ads. …read more

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For days the media has been all over the fact that separatist Gov. Sarah Palin’s 17 year old daughter Bristol is pregnant. Obama and his campaign have told everyone to lay off candidates children, something I agree with. But what is America to make of all this and who has the answers?
Luckily, respected American psychologist “Dr. Phil” decided to share his 2 cents on the Palin baby with Matt Lauer. Thank goodness for the wonderful insight from this TV personality who received his doctorate from the prestigious North Texas University.
Perhaps Dr. Phil can have a private consultation with Bristol. …read more

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One would think that during their convention, the RNC would be doing their best to showcase it. But when you go on their website they have a “Time Since Biden’s Last Gaffe” ticker on the front page.
His latest “gaffe” was this morning as he accidentally used the word battalion instead of brigade.
You have to be shitting me, having this on the front page during their convention, “attacking” the vice presidential nominee. All the while their presidential nominee isn’t even sure if he has his pants on or not.
Things sure are looking splendid for the GOP come November’s election with McNuts …read more

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In case you missed it last night here is President George-John “Insane in the Membrane” BuCain endorsing the real change, “country first” candidate. You know, the one that voted with itself 90% of the time.
Probably the best thing Bush could have done for McCain would have been to come out and endorse Barack Obama.
But notice how John McCain wasn’t at the convention last night when Bush was speaking and how we never see them together these days. Is it possible that they, in fact, really are the same person now!?!

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Thanks to Gustav, President Bush will not be at the Republican National Convention personally, but will be speaking tonight live via satellite. And the RNC’s website is really touting the president’s address.
The website says:
The 2008 Republican National Convention today announced the program of events for Tuesday, Sept. 2. The program will feature speeches by U.S. Sen. Joe Lieberman and former U.S. Sen. Fred Thompson. Their remarks will reflect the convention’s overall theme, “Country First,” and the theme for Tuesday’s events, which is “service.”
Then the site goes on to say:
Among the other speakers announced today are President George W. Bush (via …read more

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The Palin debacle is well on its way to being overdone news, but it’s hard to resist speculating on the course of the John McCain Insane-in-the-Membrane Train.
Admittedly, McCain generally displays the deft political footwork of a crash test dummy. But the choice of Palin is so idiotic that there must be more to it than just poor judgment.
So if McCain consciously chose to put Alaska baked trailer trash on his ticket, why did he do it? (Don’t miss amusing photos at Perez Hilton.)
The only truly plausible theory is that he’s going after the stupid vote. With a …read more

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