Sirened

With the stock market plummeting and people’s financial assets taking a bigger hit than John McCain’s reputation, Sirened made a bold financial guarantee last week. I told readers to consider betting your 401k on the San Fransisco 49ers (-4) at home against a terrible Detroit Lions football team. Well, if you took my financial advice, you nearly doubled your depleted fortune!
I said that the 49ers should have been 10 point favorites in that game and were a “lock”, and what happened? They thumped the Lions 31-13. In sports betting (the best financial advice currently out there), it’s important to take …read more

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5)Haul stuff using this thing, which is basically a motorized shoe box.
4)Move to Venezuela. Gas is subsidized by the government and costs about 5 cents a gallon.
3)Save empty milk containers. When gas dips below $4 a gallon, fill the trunk with milk containers and fill them up at the gas station. This could literally save you dollars in the long run. Aside from being hazardous, the only other downside is that you will spend gas to haul gas.
2)Prostitute yourself for fuel. Truck stops are a wonderful place for this because you can make money and buy gas at the same …read more

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It wasn’t until my recent trip to Scandinavia that I learned that Red Bull has actually been banned in some countries. First I learned that it’s illegal in Denmark, then upon further reading I found out that it’s also banned in France and Norway.
So why is this magical drink that “gives you wings” banned in several countries? Apparently it’s all because a few people have died from it and these governments are concerned with the high levels of taurine and caffeine in the beverages. In fact, a new Danish friend that initially brought this to my attention said “it’s dangerous …read more

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This is something you probably won’t see at your local 7-Eleven in say, Valdosta, Georgia. But have no fear, if you’re in Sweden and you’re craving a Big Bite, you can still get one! Despite all this fruit crap posted on the front window, they still have big bites rolling around all day, just like in the US and A.
Another thing you can nab at Swedish 7-Eleven’s is stale loose candy. Swedes love candy and their 7-Eleven’s have many germ filled bins with candy that was delicious days ago.
In Denmark, you can actually buy liquor at 7-Eleven, which is extremely …read more

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5)Haul stuff using this thing, which is basically a motorized shoe box.
4)Move to Venezuela. Gas is subsidized by the government and costs about 5 cents a gallon.
3)Save empty milk containers. When gas dips below $4 a gallon, fill the trunk with milk containers and fill them up at the gas station. This could literally save you dollars in the long run. Aside from being hazardous, the only other downside is that you will spend gas to haul gas.
2)Prostitute yourself for fuel. Truck stops are a wonderful place for this because you can make money and buy gas at the same …read more

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The US economy needs a jump start and perhaps the presidential elections will be just the ticket. At the moment you can pick up John McCain condoms at McCaincondoms.com. Don’t think these are just novelty condoms either, they are in fact the real deal!
McCain condoms are “old but not expired” and the site advertises that you should “give your ‘troops’ the protection they need.”
The condoms aren’t cheap, they are $9.95 for a pair plus $3 for shipping and handling. But hey, if you want to last longer I’m sure seeing John McCain on your johnson will be right for …read more

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When you put Burger King and world’s most expensive burger in the same sentence you’d probably think massive heart explosion. Not in this case, here is a video of some pompous British chef who discusses all the expensive ingredients that are going into making the world’s richest burger. The real kicker here is that under the Burger King logo of his chef’s outfit reads “Research & Development.”
Burger King “R&D” normally consists of a fine balancing act between grade D beef and the minimal amount of rat feces allotted by the FDA. But with this burger, introduced on the …read more

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Thousands of South Koreans protesting over US beef imports and government officials willing to resign over it…WTF?!?
There’s a few reasons why Koreans have beef with American beef. One is that Koreans view American beef to have a higher risk of mad cow disease. Even though there hasn’t been that many cases of the disease in the United States, some of the beef that the United States exports are from cattle over 30 months old, an age deemed to have a higher risk of having mad cow disease.
The other reason is Big Korean Beef who wants to minimize the …read more

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Just when people think gas prices have to settle, for at least a bit, they just keep getting higher, this time hitting a new record of $135 a barrel.
Yesterday politicians on Capitol Hill held another dog and pony show with oil executives and of course, they are not to blame. OPEC? Not to blame. Excessive Consumption? Well, at one time President Bush said that was a fundamental right of Americans.
With gas prices at over $4 a gallon, many Americans fear gas could at some point hit, hell who knows? Imagine $9 a gallon?!? That would be outrageous and unbelievable! Of …read more

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John McCain is a republican John Kerry? He was for pulling the troops out of Iraq before he was against it. Oh this will be fun come October!
Congressional democrats will fund the Iraq war so they can end it. It’s that Catch-22 logic.
NY Times readership is down, NBC’s Brian Williams mocks them on his blog.
Eliot Spitzer prostitute Ashley Dupre suing Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis for being a douche bag. But hey, who isn’t?
Last year 7% of Americans got married so they could get health insurance. Wow, so Mitt Romney’s secret health plan is working!
Those pesky Tibetan monks are …read more

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