Sirened

With the stock market plummeting and people’s financial assets taking a bigger hit than John McCain’s reputation, Sirened made a bold financial guarantee last week. I told readers to consider betting your 401k on the San Fransisco 49ers (-4) at home against a terrible Detroit Lions football team. Well, if you took my financial advice, you nearly doubled your depleted fortune!
I said that the 49ers should have been 10 point favorites in that game and were a “lock”, and what happened? They thumped the Lions 31-13. In sports betting (the best financial advice currently out there), it’s important to take …read more

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It’s becoming clearer every day what a miserable failure a George-John McBush/Lipsticks presidency would be. Yesterday, as American financial institutions crumbled to the ground, McCain stated that “the fundamentals of the economy are strong.”
Oh really. You mean the one where rich people got huge tax breaks so they could invest in sub-prime mortgages in order for little bread crumbs to trickle down for American Oliver Twist types? Yeah that one, the one that allowed itself to run wild in a big circle jerk fuck fest that gobbled up everything in its path and left only blood stained remnants on the …read more

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The Taliban Christians are at it again. This time calling for a boycott of McDonald’s because they support “sodomites.” Ok, so maybe Ronald McDonald comes off as a little fruity, but cut him some slack guys, he’s a clown!
If you’re interested in learning more about why McDonalds wants to give you two hot patties and special sauce in a bun, visit BoycottMcDonalds.com

I rarely eat at McDonald’s but this weekend I will be sure to stop in and get me some Big Mac and a large chocolate shake. After all, I live in the Netherlands, everyone here is going to hell …read more

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Ericsson has really gone to hell in allowing the Finnish company to do this in Stockholm. If they weren’t such pushovers they would have this thing blown out of the sky!
photo credit: me

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10)So that’s the advertised salary, but how much will I really be making?
9)Will I have access to the company hooker?
8)Will you cover for me if my wife calls?
7)These are high speed shredders right?
6)Your wife is beautiful, she looks an awful lot like my ex.
5)Will you guys set up my offshore account or do I have to take care of that myself?
4)Look, I’m an accountant, playing with numbers is my thing, do the big boys want to make some real money here or are you content with your little scraps? (play this one by ear though)
3)Leadership skills? In college I was …read more

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This is Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary talking about Ryanair’s plans for transcontinental flights. In economy you’ll be able to fly dirt cheap, but they’ll be no frills, so you’ll have to bring your own oral sex. To compensate, business class seats will be very expensive because they will include blow jobs. So screw you Virgin Airlines!
And wow, while American air travel continues to get suckier and suckier by the day, Ryanair plans to literally get you sucked while you fly.

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When you put Burger King and world’s most expensive burger in the same sentence you’d probably think massive heart explosion. Not in this case, here is a video of some pompous British chef who discusses all the expensive ingredients that are going into making the world’s richest burger. The real kicker here is that under the Burger King logo of his chef’s outfit reads “Research & Development.”
Burger King “R&D” normally consists of a fine balancing act between grade D beef and the minimal amount of rat feces allotted by the FDA. But with this burger, introduced on the …read more

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Medical results out of Florida show that more people are dying from legal drugs than illegal ones. The Florida Medical Examiners Commission released autopsy results from 2007 that found that prescription drugs killed 3 times as many people as all illegal drugs combined.
In 2007, there were 168,900 deaths in Florida. 2,328 of these deaths were caused by pain killers (Vicodine, Oxycontin, etc.), 743 deaths were due to benzodiazepines (Xanax, Valium, etc.) and alcohol was judged to have been the killer 466 times (it was in the bodies of 4,179 people that died).
The deaths from all illegal drugs (cocaine, heroine, ecstasy, …read more

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It’s been an exciting month here on Sirened and here’s a wrap on some of the highlights:
I fully immersed myself in my Jackass Amsterdam Pictures of the Week segment by partaking in The Netherlands biggest holiday and dressing up like well…a jackass.
Gary Kasparov and the Flying Penis Helicopter inspired me to create a new ‘LOL’ category.
In Obama Leads Panamanian Candidate John McCain in National Polls, I look into the reason why John McCain is struggling with his base: their racism towards Latins.
When people complain about high oil prices, they often forget about the oil companies, who are massively affected because …read more

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Finally! Backstabbing Scott McClellan’s new book What Happened has the media looking into their own muck ups prior to the invasion of Iraq. As many remember, the media’s coverage was basically a flag waving parade as they helped enable the Bush administration to spew their propaganda without serious question.
From a business perspective, it made total sense for the media to do what they did. After President Bush put weapons of mass destruction and Saddam Hussein in the same sentence, some 80% of Americans supported a toppling of the regime. So the media was simply reporting on what the general public …read more

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