Sirened

The recent “re-election” of Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe got me thinking, what sort of qualities are required to be the campaign manager of a dictatorial African election? And what types of decisions need to be made in order to secure victory?
First, qualifications of a campaign manager:
1)Military experience preferred (not so much as to overtake it though).
2)Must show an ability to intimidate.
3)Must not be afraid to destroy dissidents.
Strategies involved:
1)Must arm supporters (this is usually easier for the incumbent dictator, particular if he also heads the military). If the dictator in power does not control the military however, the general who does …read more

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Did any new revelations come from Scott McClellan’s testimony to the House Judiciary Committee? Not really because dough boy Scott McClellan is a squirmy weasel that is a Jedi master in the art of spin.
McClellan’s book “What Happened” is a wonderful tale about what happened, without really telling what happened. Despite the fact that McClellan left his Press Secretary duties some two years ago, the man literally lives and breathes the spin.
McClellan has no clue whether any additional White House officials broke the law in the leaking of CIA operative Valerie Plame’s identity. He does know that the Bush administration …read more

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Medical results out of Florida show that more people are dying from legal drugs than illegal ones. The Florida Medical Examiners Commission released autopsy results from 2007 that found that prescription drugs killed 3 times as many people as all illegal drugs combined.
In 2007, there were 168,900 deaths in Florida. 2,328 of these deaths were caused by pain killers (Vicodine, Oxycontin, etc.), 743 deaths were due to benzodiazepines (Xanax, Valium, etc.) and alcohol was judged to have been the killer 466 times (it was in the bodies of 4,179 people that died).
The deaths from all illegal drugs (cocaine, heroine, ecstasy, …read more

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The US gov’t has cremated American troops at a facility that also cremates pets.
The Pentagon fed us propaganda after we invaded Iraq…You don’t say!
A list of 5 Ways that Hillary Clinton can still win the democratic nomination…Spoiler alert: 1 of them involves changing the minimum voting age to 60.
John McCain opposes US troops getting too educated.
Medical marijuana just celebrated its 30th birthday in the USA! Congratulations marijuana!
John McCain on Bush economy: 4 more years!
Hillary’s “base” includes West Virginia voters who believe that Barack Obama is Muslim.
Ron Paul revolution planning to topple Republican national convention?
World starting to run low on fish??
Karl …read more

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John McCain is a republican John Kerry? He was for pulling the troops out of Iraq before he was against it. Oh this will be fun come October!
Congressional democrats will fund the Iraq war so they can end it. It’s that Catch-22 logic.
NY Times readership is down, NBC’s Brian Williams mocks them on his blog.
Eliot Spitzer prostitute Ashley Dupre suing Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis for being a douche bag. But hey, who isn’t?
Last year 7% of Americans got married so they could get health insurance. Wow, so Mitt Romney’s secret health plan is working!
Those pesky Tibetan monks are …read more

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Last night was the final White House Correspondents’ Dinner for George W. Bush and it sure is nice that lots of “final” things keep occurring for him as president. It’s still a ways until the best final thing, his final day as president, but for the moment I’ll take this one.
President Bush was in fine form last night, poking fun at Dick Cheney and himself for fucking up the world. Being the last correspondents’ dinner, this was a reflective one, highlighting previous dinners dating back to 2001 and reminding us what a long ass time he’s been in power. …read more

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More jobs heading to India, this time it’s debt collection!
Yet another scam…People claiming to be the IRS, asking for your information so you can get your “tax refund.”
Why the health care debate might be a steamy load of crap.
What’s this about a congressman claiming a $300 campaign tab for “lodging” at a bar with no lodging?
From John McCain’s fake blog: Taking economic advice from his even more senile mother.
Jenna Bush is confused and may accidentally vote democrat. My marker slipped…Doh!
Hillary Clinton will be ready on Day 1…to nuke Iran.
Florida thinking to bring Jesus to license plates.
Is Clinton’s Pennsylvania win …read more

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For years Craig’s List has been the place to find everything from jobs, event tickets, antiques to gay midgets wearing pink feathers ready to show up on your door step to give you a good spanking. Craig’s List ranks 7th in traffic amongst English language websites, receiving about 9 billion page views a month.
These days though, Craig’s List has become as well known for its scams as it is for legitimate content. Luckily many of the scams are pretty obvious, like anything that involves the country of Nigeria. It’s amazing how unoriginal many of the scam artists are, so many …read more

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Saying Michael Vick blew it is certainly an understatement. Dude should be playing Monday night football tonight against the Saints and instead is in prison and has just been sentenced for nearly 2 years. Really, he should have gotten some extra prison time just for being fucking stupid.
Anyways, if you hate Michael Vick but have a sadistic sense of humor, or love him (and if you’re a fan of pit bull fighting why wouldn’t you?) pick up this t-shirt from A Drunk Buffalo T-Shirt Company. It really is damn wrong but I think it’s hilarious-yeah I’m an asshole. But if you purchase one of these t-shirts $1 …read more

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Mississippi Senator Trent Lott has had enough of becoming as irrelevant as the US Constitution itself. The former senate majority leader even had a difficult time collecting on his claim with State Farm after Hurricane Katrina.
Trent Lott stepped down as senate majority leader in 2002 after he was criticized for saying “When Strom Thurmond ran for president, we voted for him. We’re proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn’t have had all these problems over the years, either.” The comment was viewed as one that supported segregated water fountains but Lott said he was just trying …read more

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