Sirened

Hurricane Gustav is ready to make landfall and Sirened has officially declared war on hurricanes and the name Gustav. Gustav is a name of Scandinavian and German origin, meaning “staff of the Goths,” and has been the name of six Swedish kings. Thus, we are indirectly at war with Sweden.
Gustav has already been a thorn in the ass of McCain and the GOP, landing right at the start of their convention. Hmm, is Gustav a sign of some sort? I think it was Pat Robertson who said that Hurricane Katrina was God’s punishment on America for being too nice to …read more

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Amsterdam residents prefer that you piss in their canals, rather than their buildings.

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The recent “re-election” of Robert Mugabe in Zimbabwe got me thinking, what sort of qualities are required to be the campaign manager of a dictatorial African election? And what types of decisions need to be made in order to secure victory?
First, qualifications of a campaign manager:
1)Military experience preferred (not so much as to overtake it though).
2)Must show an ability to intimidate.
3)Must not be afraid to destroy dissidents.
Strategies involved:
1)Must arm supporters (this is usually easier for the incumbent dictator, particular if he also heads the military). If the dictator in power does not control the military however, the general who does …read more

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Thank goodness we visited Birka Island’s Viking Museum or we never would have learned that there were dragons back in those days.

Ah, Sweden’s glorious past.
photo credit: me

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Ericsson has really gone to hell in allowing the Finnish company to do this in Stockholm. If they weren’t such pushovers they would have this thing blown out of the sky!
photo credit: me

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It wasn’t until my recent trip to Scandinavia that I learned that Red Bull has actually been banned in some countries. First I learned that it’s illegal in Denmark, then upon further reading I found out that it’s also banned in France and Norway.
So why is this magical drink that “gives you wings” banned in several countries? Apparently it’s all because a few people have died from it and these governments are concerned with the high levels of taurine and caffeine in the beverages. In fact, a new Danish friend that initially brought this to my attention said “it’s dangerous …read more

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Truck in Stockholm…Best beer in the world?!?

Brewery in Copenhagen:..Best beer in town?!? Seems like they’re totally fucking with the Swedes, who for the most part don’t have good beer, and which may be retribution for IKEA naming door mats after Danish towns.
photo credit: me

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This is something you probably won’t see at your local 7-Eleven in say, Valdosta, Georgia. But have no fear, if you’re in Sweden and you’re craving a Big Bite, you can still get one! Despite all this fruit crap posted on the front window, they still have big bites rolling around all day, just like in the US and A.
Another thing you can nab at Swedish 7-Eleven’s is stale loose candy. Swedes love candy and their 7-Eleven’s have many germ filled bins with candy that was delicious days ago.
In Denmark, you can actually buy liquor at 7-Eleven, which is extremely …read more

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Those aren’t my words, nor is it technically truth, but it’s the claim you’ll find immediately upon arrival in Sweden’s capital. Stockholm boasts itself as the capital of Scandinavia because of it’s elegant beauty, cleanliness, fine cuisine (and we did have 2 fantastic meals in the city) and the fact that the Nobel Prizes are awarded in this grandiose city built on several islands.
Swedes are obviously proud of their culture and heritage and once you pass a totally pointless customs at Arlanda airport, you’ll find pictures commemorating famous Swedes. People such as golf great Annika Sorrenstam and tennis relic Bjorn …read more

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I’m back after a week’s vacation in Sweden and Denmark. It was a fabulous time and we really lucked out with the weather. You never know what you’re going to get with a Scandinavian summer but we couldn’t have asked for better; in Stockholm the high’s were in the mid 70’s and sunny. And incredibly, I even got a little sun burnt!
The only downside to the trip was how expensive Scandinavia is. While Sweden and Denmark are part of the European Union, they do not use the euro as their currency. Instead they use kroners, same name for both countries …read more

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