Gustav has already been a thorn in the ass of McCain and the GOP, landing right at the start of their convention. Hmm, is Gustav a sign of some sort? I think it was Pat Robertson who said that Hurricane Katrina was God’s punishment on America for being too nice to the gays. So what is God saying with Gustav?

Perhaps God is trying to tell us that America is swirling in the right direction, and thus John McCain can be the only logical choice for freedom loving Americans who hate Nazi’s and Arabs named Guztav. Though republicans have to be relieved that there is a legitimate excuse for George Bush and Dick Cheney to not show up at this week’s RNC. Republicans were kinda scratching their heads about what to do with America’s two biggest war criminals at their convention…thanks Gustav.

And on a side note, I am also declaring war on the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team who won the Stanley Cup 3 seasons ago when they beat my beloved Buffalo Sabres in 7 games in the Eastern conference finals. So to recap, we have declared war on hurricanes, people named Gustav, Sweden and the Carolina Hurricanes.

photo credit: flickr 

Post from: Sirened

Amsterdam residents prefer that you piss in their canals, rather than their buildings.

Post from: Sirened

First, qualifications of a campaign manager:

1)Military experience preferred (not so much as to overtake it though).

2)Must show an ability to intimidate.

3)Must not be afraid to destroy dissidents.

Strategies involved:

1)Must arm supporters (this is usually easier for the incumbent dictator, particular if he also heads the military). If the dictator in power does not control the military however, the general who does makes for a great opposition candidate.

2)The areas with the largest concentration of opponents must have the greatest obstacles to vote. Opponents should be willing to dodge machine gun fire.

3)Feeding supporters. People need to eat and if you feed them right before they hit the ballot box, this will be taken into heavy consideration.

4)How many dead people can vote without the UN noticing? Of course, this doesn’t really matter anyways as the UN can only voice their displeasure, without taking significant action.

I’m not sure I have what it takes for this position but I’m willing to discuss any offers. If you are a dictator in power or a general seeking power and are interested in my services, please email me.

photo credit: flickr

Post from: Sirened

Thank goodness we visited Birka Island’s Viking Museum or we never would have learned that there were dragons back in those days.

Ah, Sweden’s glorious past.

photo credit: me

Post from: Sirened

Ericsson has really gone to hell in allowing the Finnish company to do this in Stockholm. If they weren’t such pushovers they would have this thing blown out of the sky!

photo credit: me

Post from: Sirened

So why is this magical drink that “gives you wings” banned in several countries? Apparently it’s all because a few people have died from it and these governments are concerned with the high levels of taurine and caffeine in the beverages. In fact, a new Danish friend that initially brought this to my attention said “it’s dangerous because it has a lot of caffeine,” saying this as she smoked a cigarette and had a vodka and fizzy drink in hand.

And the Danish government is clearly weary of high caffeine doses because they’ve also banned caffeine pills. But what’s the big deal anyways? Coffee contains a lot of caffeine and is far from banned in any of these countries. In fact, last time I checked, the French were known to enjoy a latte or two.

Red Bull also contains glucuronolactone which improves concentration and memory. Additionally, it contains inositol which can lift your mood by pumping extra serotonin to your brain. So a Red Bull is kinda like a coffee mixed with Ritalin and Prozac. No wonder it gives you wings!

Luckily here in the Netherlands there is no ban on Red Bull or equivalent substitutes. In fact, I am currently enjoying a beverage that is simply called “Energy Drink” and carries all the same ingredients as a Red Bull. “Energy Drink” also tastes practically identical to Red Bull but is a fraction of the price as it is produced here in the Netherlands.

You can pick up “Energy Drink” at a Dutch grocery store for as little as 29 euro cents! I was initially blown away by this seeing as how no energy drink in the United States is that cheap. So if you enjoy Red Bull and are traveling around Europe, make sure to stock up before a visit to France, Denmark or Norway. Otherwise you are sure to lose your wings!

photo credit: flickr

Post from: Sirened

Truck in Stockholm…Best beer in the world?!?

Brewery in Copenhagen:..Best beer in town?!? Seems like they’re totally fucking with the Swedes, who for the most part don’t have good beer, and which may be retribution for IKEA naming door mats after Danish towns.

photo credit: me

Post from: Sirened

This is something you probably won’t see at your local 7-Eleven in say, Valdosta, Georgia. But have no fear, if you’re in Sweden and you’re craving a Big Bite, you can still get one! Despite all this fruit crap posted on the front window, they still have big bites rolling around all day, just like in the US and A.

Another thing you can nab at Swedish 7-Eleven’s is stale loose candy. Swedes love candy and their 7-Eleven’s have many germ filled bins with candy that was delicious days ago.

In Denmark, you can actually buy liquor at 7-Eleven, which is extremely convenient for drinking on the street which is perfectly legal there. Unfortunately here in the Netherlands we have no 7-Elevens and must settle for eating food out of vending machines. The upside is that we can still drink on the streets, which is illegal in Sweden, haha Magnus ver Magnusson!

photo credit: me

Post from: Sirened

Those aren’t my words, nor is it technically truth, but it’s the claim you’ll find immediately upon arrival in Sweden’s capital. Stockholm boasts itself as the capital of Scandinavia because of it’s elegant beauty, cleanliness, fine cuisine (and we did have 2 fantastic meals in the city) and the fact that the Nobel Prizes are awarded in this grandiose city built on several islands.

Swedes are obviously proud of their culture and heritage and once you pass a totally pointless customs at Arlanda airport, you’ll find pictures commemorating famous Swedes. People such as golf great Annika Sorrenstam and tennis relic Bjorn Borg (who retired like 20 years ago) are featured. The tribute is in a fitting spot since it’s in a tiny hallway with lots of traffic heading out to Arlanda’s main concourse. It’s a great place for tourists to stop and admire while they get in the way of annoyed locals who just want to go the hell home.

From Arlanda to Stockholm’s central station, the way to go is the Arlanda Express. A spiffy high speed train that goes non-stop from the distant airport to the heart of the city in just 20 minutes (don’t worry, you’ll be reminded of the time a lot, which is why my wife wanted to whack me upside the head when I kept asking her how long the train will take). You can also take the bus, but that takes about 40 minutes and only costs a few dollars less. The train is really nice, has 4-6 departures per hour and is very convenient. It’s not cheap but neither is the bus, Stockholm is one of the most expensive cities in Europe in getting from the airport to the city. Even the bus will run you about $16 ($20 on the train), whereas in Amsterdam the train from Schipol airport to central station only costs about $5 (which also runs very frequently and because the airport is closer, can take as little as 15 minutes).

So immediately upon arrival in Sweden, you are whacked upside the head with a hefty cost! But it’s nice that they let you know what to expect in their very pricey city. Anything less and you might be led to believe that you could get a good deal on accommodation, dinner or drinks. There are some good values, by Stockholm standards, but the term value is much more applicable when discussing euros, not dollars.

photo credit: me

Post from: Sirened

The only downside to the trip was how expensive Scandinavia is. While Sweden and Denmark are part of the European Union, they do not use the euro as their currency. Instead they use kroners, same name for both countries except the Danish kroner is a little stronger than the Swedish kroner.

This is partly why Copenhagen is currently ranked as the 3rd most expensive city in the world. And it’s damn pricey! It’s pretty standard that enjoying a beer out in Copenhagen will run you around $10 (pretty common in Stockholm too). My wife and I sat down for coffee in a cafe in Copenhagen and paid the equivalent of over $6 each for the coffees. And I’m not talking about Starbucks equivalent venti latte’s here, just a small coffee. Ouch!

Luckily we were traveling mostly on euros so this eased the cost of these very expensive countries. In the coming weeks look forward to several posts on Sweden and Denmark such as: Where to eat Swedish meatballs in Stockholm; Where not to eat Reindeer in Stockholm; Why is Red Bull illegal in Denmark?; Ways to cut back on costs; Couch surfing in Copenhagen; and of course, jackass pictures of the week…Sweden and Denmark style!

It’s summer, so why not talk a little less politics and a little more travel!

photo credit: my camera

Post from: Sirened