Sirened

Will the fate of AARP member John McCain be similar to Ronald Reagan or Bob Dole?
Fun picture of John Kerry checking out some college girls tits.
Ah Europe and their crazy commercials, here’s one for a copy machine where the girl accidentally copies up her skirt.
John McCain has a backup plan if he’s not elected president of the USA: to be elected president of Mexico.
Will young Obama supporters in Indiana and NC choose bong swats or the voting booth today?
A wonderful compilation of the American president acting like a dancing buffoon.
John McCain said he didn’t vote for George …read more

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More jobs heading to India, this time it’s debt collection!
Yet another scam…People claiming to be the IRS, asking for your information so you can get your “tax refund.”
Why the health care debate might be a steamy load of crap.
What’s this about a congressman claiming a $300 campaign tab for “lodging” at a bar with no lodging?
From John McCain’s fake blog: Taking economic advice from his even more senile mother.
Jenna Bush is confused and may accidentally vote democrat. My marker slipped…Doh!
Hillary Clinton will be ready on Day 1…to nuke Iran.
Florida thinking to bring Jesus to license plates.
Is Clinton’s Pennsylvania win …read more

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In a surprise move, Gawker Media has decided to part ways with favorite shit talking political blog Wonkette. The sell off is a shock to some, myself included, as Wonkette is one of the biggest brand names in the Gawker network and the site has won several blog awards.
But Gawker Media pointed out that despite Wonkette’s popularity amongst cynical political observing fucks such as myself, Wonkette’s share of readership only represents a tiny fraction of the Gawker audience. Gawker attracts over 200 million page views per month on just 14 blogs and Wonkette represents a mere 6 million of those.
Six …read more

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Did you get the memo?
More men come forward to say they’ve had sex with Idaho potato Larry Craig, Craig still in denial of the gay.
Iraq is supposedly getting better, again, but not for Christians. So wait, why are we there again?
It’s Tasers Gone Wild! This time it’s the story of a Utah highway patrolman who pulled out his zapping rod against some dude who refused to sign his speeding ticket. Don’t tase me bro!
Hugo Chavez fails in his bid to become Constitutional dictator.
Facebook’s Beacon proves to be more powerful than originally imagined. You cannot stop the Beacon, and apparently you cannot even contain …read more

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Yesterday, President Bush announced that Iran is definitely arming the insurgency that is killing both Americans and Iraqi’s.
Today, Bush made a shocking allegation that Batman has also been in on the action. Apparently, with Gotham cleansed of evil, Batman has become bored and decided to interject into the Iraqi rebuilding process. But not understanding the convoluted nature of Iraqi society, Batman has apparently undermined both American and Iranian interests in the country.
“He has no idea who he is arming” an American official stated on condition of anonymity. “It’s a lot easier to tell who is good and who is evil in Gotham, but over …read more

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Today, Captain Lisa Nowak was charged with attempted murder in an Orlando, FL courtroom. The charges come as a shock because she is an astronaut, no surprise this would happen in Florida though. After all, it is the state OJ Simpson currently resides in.
Nowak drove 950 miles from Houston to Orlando to confront the girlfriend of a fellow astronaut who has clearly tickled her fancy. Nowak found Colleen Shipman in the Orlando International Airport’s parking lot. Shipman knew she was dealing with a nut bar as Nowak chased after her wearing a hood over her head. She was able to escape and contact …read more

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Yesterday, Boston was brought to its knees in the city’s biggest scare since September 11th. Devices thought to be explosives were found under bridges, at subway stops and near a medical center. This caused city officials to close roads and bridges, shut down the Charles River and detonate one of the lighted devices. Today’s headline in the Boston Globe reads Froth, fear, and fury.
Yes, there was all of that in Boston yesterday and it was not caused by your typical terrorists. The scare stemmed from the Mooninites, Ignignokt and Err, characters on Adult Swim’s cartoon Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
Ignignokt is the leader and …read more

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Back on January 17th, 2001 The Onion wrote this article about Bush’s upcoming presidency. The article is titled ‘Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity is Finally Over.’
Among many prophecies in the story is a fake quote by Dennis Hastert saying:
“Under Bush, we can all look forward to military aggression, deregulation of dangerous, greedy industries, and the defunding of vital domestic social-service programs upon which millions depend. Mercifully, we can now say goodbye to the awful nightmare that was Clinton’s America.”
Damn, those guys at The Onion are like Nostradamus!

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Stephen Colbert has officially denounced the Chicago Bears for beating the beloved New Orleans Saints. He has repeatedly said that Bears are “godless killing machines” and that was proven on Sunday. Colbert said they are still cleaning up torn off pieces of Reggie Bush.
Get ready Colts. Those godless Bears are waiting for you in Super Bowl XLI.

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Recently, many in the media have been confusing Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden. Shockingly, even the level headed Rush Limbaugh made this mistake.
Ok, so the difference between Obama and Osama is just one letter, but they have clear differences we assure you.
1)Obama resides in a home…we think. Osama resides in a cave…we think.
2)Obama resides in the USA. Osama possibly resides somewhere along the Afghani/Pakistani border…we think…could be Fiji.
3)Obama wants to build America. Osama wants to destroy America.
4)Osama dresses in traditional Muslim garb. Obama dresses more like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
5)Hanging out with Bert from Sesame Street would totally crimp Obama’s style. Osama on …read more

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