Fun picture of John Kerry checking out some college girls tits.

Ah Europe and their crazy commercials, here’s one for a copy machine where the girl accidentally copies up her skirt.

John McCain has a backup plan if he’s not elected president of the USA: to be elected president of Mexico.

Will young Obama supporters in Indiana and NC choose bong swats or the voting booth today?

A wonderful compilation of the American president acting like a dancing buffoon.

John McCain said he didn’t vote for George Bush in 2000. Apparently his wife forgot to write it in his calendar.

Hillary Clinton hates math.

With all the crap going on in the world, is Rev. Jeremiah Wright really that much of an issue? And how much has Faux News slanted his message?

Live in Bushwick? Interested in appearing in a gang bang? This site has the funny sign up sheet.

John McCain confused about whether he was in West Virginia or North Carolina.

photo credit: personal collection

Post from: Sirened

Yet another scam…People claiming to be the IRS, asking for your information so you can get your “tax refund.”

Why the health care debate might be a steamy load of crap.

What’s this about a congressman claiming a $300 campaign tab for “lodging” at a bar with no lodging?

From John McCain’s fake blog: Taking economic advice from his even more senile mother.

Jenna Bush is confused and may accidentally vote democrat. My marker slipped…Doh!

Hillary Clinton will be ready on Day 1…to nuke Iran.

Florida thinking to bring Jesus to license plates.

Is Clinton’s Pennsylvania win the closest she gets to Obama?

China and Dr. Evil suing CNN…for 1 billion dollars!

Is it time to give up on looking for a cure for Aids?

Lame duck and bored President Bush appears on dumbass Deal or No Deal, automatically sinks ratings by 27%.

Post from: Sirened

But Gawker Media pointed out that despite Wonkette’s popularity amongst cynical political observing fucks such as myself, Wonkette’s share of readership only represents a tiny fraction of the Gawker audience. Gawker attracts over 200 million page views per month on just 14 blogs and Wonkette represents a mere 6 million of those.

Six million page views per month is far from shabby but representing less than 3% of readership amongst a network of just 14 blogs is a drop in the Gawker Media market. Additionally, Gawker says they have more trouble selling advertisement for Wonkette given its nature of appealing to snarky politically minded assholes-as opposed to celebrity gossip sites that appeal to a different kind of orifice.

The good news is that Wonkette is not vanishing from cyberspace-obviously. The site is getting sold off to current editor Ken Layne and will continue business as usual, in the most unprofessional manner possible. Thank goodness!

Post from: Sirened

Did you get the memo?

More men come forward to say they’ve had sex with Idaho potato Larry Craig, Craig still in denial of the gay.

Iraq is supposedly getting better, again, but not for Christians. So wait, why are we there again?

It’s Tasers Gone Wild! This time it’s the story of a Utah highway patrolman who pulled out his zapping rod against some dude who refused to sign his speeding ticket. Don’t tase me bro!

Hugo Chavez fails in his bid to become Constitutional dictator.

Facebook’s Beacon proves to be more powerful than originally imagined. You cannot stop the Beacon, and apparently you cannot even contain it.

With all the mass consumerism this holiday season, you may be looking for something free to do. How about some relaxing holiday music to combat the annoying munchkins (I mean loving children)?

Mitt Romney will address his Mormonism…and perhaps his hair gel.

Karl Rove gives advice to Barack Obama: You better win Iowa or Hillary will eat your gonads with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Why do people who hate Keith Olbermann so much follow him so closely? I suppose it’s the treason. Gotta be the treason.

Rush Limbaugh gives a compliment to Fred Thompson. According to Thompson this is very good.

Bill Lumbergh and his wandering coffee mug from Comedy Central Insider.

Post from: Sirened

Today, Bush made a shocking allegation that Batman has also been in on the action. Apparently, with Gotham cleansed of evil, Batman has become bored and decided to interject into the Iraqi rebuilding process. But not understanding the convoluted nature of Iraqi society, Batman has apparently undermined both American and Iranian interests in the country.

“He has no idea who he is arming” an American official stated on condition of anonymity. “It’s a lot easier to tell who is good and who is evil in Gotham, but over here, who knows. He’s out of his league.”

Bush is calling for a man hunt on Batman for his role in inadvertently killing American soldiers. Some intelligence agents believe that Spiderman has also entered the conflict, but the CIA will neither confirm or deny this.

Post from: Sirened

Nowak drove 950 miles from Houston to Orlando to confront the girlfriend of a fellow astronaut who has clearly tickled her fancy. Nowak found Colleen Shipman in the Orlando International Airport’s parking lot. Shipman knew she was dealing with a nut bar as Nowak chased after her wearing a hood over her head. She was able to escape and contact authorities.

The police arrested Nowak and in her possession was a BB gun, steal mallet, knife, rubber tubing and rubber gloves. WTF? But the craziest part is that the 43 year old astronaut drove 950 miles wearing a diaper so she would not have to make a restroom stop.

For this reason, Lisa Nowak is Sirened’s first nominee for the 2007 Craziest Bitch award. Congratulations Lisa.

Post from: Sirened

Yes, there was all of that in Boston yesterday and it was not caused by your typical terrorists. The scare stemmed from the Mooninites, Ignignokt and Err, characters on Adult Swim’s cartoon Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

Ignignokt is the leader and his sidekick is Err, together they make up the 2 person army that is the Mooninites and those responsible for Boston’s biggest terror since 9/11. It should not be so surprising that this would occur though since Ignignokt is described as being from the moon and thus, more superior to anyone you know. He further contends that Earth is his Moon.

It is this belief system that led to yesterday’s Boston fiasco. Actually, it was the Mooninite characters lighted billboards being stupidly mistaken for bombs. The Turner Company has since apologized for a marketing campaign deemed in poor taste and unacceptable in a post 9/11 world.

But now that the Mooninites have achieved victory in Boston, the question is, will this embolden radical terrorists that wish harm upon Americans?

Post from: Sirened

Among many prophecies in the story is a fake quote by Dennis Hastert saying:

“Under Bush, we can all look forward to military aggression, deregulation of dangerous, greedy industries, and the defunding of vital domestic social-service programs upon which millions depend. Mercifully, we can now say goodbye to the awful nightmare that was Clinton’s America.”

Damn, those guys at The Onion are like Nostradamus!

Post from: Sirened

Get ready Colts. Those godless Bears are waiting for you in Super Bowl XLI.

Post from: Sirened

Ok, so the difference between Obama and Osama is just one letter, but they have clear differences we assure you.

1)Obama resides in a home…we think. Osama resides in a cave…we think.

2)Obama resides in the USA. Osama possibly resides somewhere along the Afghani/Pakistani border…we think…could be Fiji.

3)Obama wants to build America. Osama wants to destroy America.

4)Osama dresses in traditional Muslim garb. Obama dresses more like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

5)Hanging out with Bert from Sesame Street would totally crimp Obama’s style. Osama on the other hand doesn’t seem to mind.

Post from: Sirened