Sirened

I hope everybody had a great Christmas and gave their livers plenty of training for the upcoming New Year’s festivities. Also, I hope everybody got the toys they wanted and nobody had to spend Christmas alone (if you did, perhaps consider a prostitute next Christmas). 
While “Boxing Day” is not an observed holiday in the US, it is in countries like Canada and Australia. It’s for people to get over their Christmas hangovers and box up all the holiday goodies they received. It also gives non-retail people the day off to bombard stores for the big Boxing Day specials and to …read more

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Merry Christmas from Sirened!
Have fun, be safe and don’t get caught drinking and driving.

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It’s just a week until Christmas and lots of kids are being extra good in anticipation of Santa’s upcoming visit. But Sirened would like to remind all kids that the best way for optimal gift receiving is to upgrade to parents that are in a higher tax bracket. Either that or befriend a wealthy and lonely old person who has nobody else to give stuff to. Good luck!
Christmas is about gifts and cash?!? Get the fuck out!
Will ordinary gifts just not cut it this year? If that’s the case check out these super premium gift ideas.
There’s a whole lotta Santa Claus parades going on …read more

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Well, it’s December and that means there’s another installment of President Num Nuts, his family and his two stupid dogs parading around the White House making jackasses of themselves. In this edition, Barney and Miss Beasley are seeking to be junior national park rangers but ‘The Decider’ decides that they need to learn about national parks while he goes off and presumably learns about geography and the English language.
Former British Prime Minister and President Num Nuts minion Tony Blair makes a special appearance to personally congratulate Bush’s dogs on achieving their stupid fake accomplishment. It’s nice to see Tony …read more

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Well, it’s just 10 days until Christmas and Santa’s elves are working extra hard to get those toys ready for all the good little boys and girls. Of course, you don’t really need to be that good-what matters more here kids is what tax bracket your parents fall into. Santa much prefers higher tax brackets and tends to reward these children much more.  
But luckily Santa has been working extra hard to make more cost efficient toys so middle and lower class kids can get even more crap to rot their brains with items. For starters he has gotten rid of the …read more

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Well, my best piece of advice would be to buy your children no toys this holiday season. Do like the olden days and tell your child to find a stick and go play down at the creek. Of course, this will not be acceptable to your child as there will surely be many items on their demands list. And if the demands list is not met, you are certain to encounter their wrath of fury and resentment.
So your hands are tied here and you will probably have to go down to the local Wal-Mart and pick up some Chinese made toys …read more

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Everyone have a very Merry Christmas, if you don’t celebrate Christmas, enjoy the day off and have some beers. Everyone have a very happy and safe New Years, if you don’t celebrate New Years, enjoy the day off and have some beers. See you next year!

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This is the Christmas card that Tennessee Governor Phil Bredesen sent out this year. Seems innocent right? It’s just a painting of a Muslim girl he met on a trip to Afghanistan in March. The point of the card is to show that we are all God’s children and he cares about all of us.
Yeah, it’s unorthodox for a Christmas card but the point is tolerance and goodwill for all. This is just too much for some of the religious right though. Several ministers have come out and bashed the Governor for what they feel is a mockery of Christmas.
Yeah, god forbid the religious …read more

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Ho Ho Ho! Tis’ the season of celebration, goodwill and mass consumerism. The malls are filled with a shopping frenzy and it is reported that more people are buying just as many presents for themselves than for others. It’s part of the new 1:1 gift buying ratio rule. Giving is good, but getting and giving is even better.
We live in a needs based society and companies have no problem creating needs. In order to keep up with the Jones’ it is imperative you have that high definition big screen TV, despite whether you can afford it or not.
It is reported that 23% of …read more

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