Sirened

Showing the same keen appreciation of justice evident in its electoral activities, Florida is letting republiscum representative Mark Foley off the hook.
Foley achieved notoriety last year for DingDongDangling e-mails to young congressional pages.  But the communication technically didn’t take place in Florida, according to the state’s Department of Law Enforcement, so forget about it.
This is just one of the vile tricks being pulled in dark corners as the world gapes at apocalyptic headlines.
It’s the American Way!
Image courtesy of the gubment.

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The Palin debacle is well on its way to being overdone news, but it’s hard to resist speculating on the course of the John McCain Insane-in-the-Membrane Train.
Admittedly, McCain generally displays the deft political footwork of a crash test dummy. But the choice of Palin is so idiotic that there must be more to it than just poor judgment.
So if McCain consciously chose to put Alaska baked trailer trash on his ticket, why did he do it? (Don’t miss amusing photos at Perez Hilton.)
The only truly plausible theory is that he’s going after the stupid vote. With a …read more

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If Barack Obama truly is the next JFK, he certainly needs a blond bomb shell to prove it. Happy birthday mister presidential hopeful because you’ve found that in Scarlett Johansson!
In a June 10th article on Politico.com, Johansson said “You’d imagine that someone like the senator who is constantly traveling and constantly ‘on’ — how can he return these personal e-mails?” Yeah sure, you would think that if it was Rosie O’Donnell or Whoopi Goldberg but it’s Scarlett Johansson. You make time!
In that Politico interview, Johansson also talked about how she’s helping her crush get elected president “I’ll tell them I …read more

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This is Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary talking about Ryanair’s plans for transcontinental flights. In economy you’ll be able to fly dirt cheap, but they’ll be no frills, so you’ll have to bring your own oral sex. To compensate, business class seats will be very expensive because they will include blow jobs. So screw you Virgin Airlines!
And wow, while American air travel continues to get suckier and suckier by the day, Ryanair plans to literally get you sucked while you fly.

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The US economy needs a jump start and perhaps the presidential elections will be just the ticket. At the moment you can pick up John McCain condoms at McCaincondoms.com. Don’t think these are just novelty condoms either, they are in fact the real deal!
McCain condoms are “old but not expired” and the site advertises that you should “give your ‘troops’ the protection they need.”
The condoms aren’t cheap, they are $9.95 for a pair plus $3 for shipping and handling. But hey, if you want to last longer I’m sure seeing John McCain on your johnson will be right for …read more

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To quote the film EuroTrip “Poppy juice!…Now with pulp.”
photo credit: personal collection
*Lekker means “delicious” in Dutch and is used to describe everything from great food to nice balcony views to yes, even “delicious babes.”

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While these days John McCain looks more like Emperor Palpetine, there was a time (during Shakespeare’s era) that Johnie Mac was big pimpin’-. I’ve talked before about John McCain’s Brazilian sexcapade, when he was a young buck in the Navy, doing what sailors do best on shore leave-getting drunk and hammering home some locals.
What’s been coming up more in the news lately though is McCain’s first wife, Carol McCain. She wasn’t discussed so much during the primaries because McCain’s mother Roberta kept her locked in the nuclear bunker under her home. She was then released when McCain became the presumptive …read more

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John McCain is a republican John Kerry? He was for pulling the troops out of Iraq before he was against it. Oh this will be fun come October!
Congressional democrats will fund the Iraq war so they can end it. It’s that Catch-22 logic.
NY Times readership is down, NBC’s Brian Williams mocks them on his blog.
Eliot Spitzer prostitute Ashley Dupre suing Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis for being a douche bag. But hey, who isn’t?
Last year 7% of Americans got married so they could get health insurance. Wow, so Mitt Romney’s secret health plan is working!
Those pesky Tibetan monks are …read more

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Everyone who follows politics knows that John McCain fought in Vietnam and spent 4 years wearing rubber tires for shoes in a Vietnamese POW camp. But what about his less known military history prior to Vietnam?
Well, like most sailors tales of shore leave, John McCain’s reads something like a raunchy Hustler magazine…In 1957, upon docking on the beautiful shores of Rio De Janeiro, McCain wasted little time hitting the sauce hard and fondling the locals ever so gentlemanly. This story summarizes what McCain wrote in his 1999 memoirs of a time when he was not senile.
The story involves McCain …read more

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The Democrats and Tennessee Senate candidate, Harold Ford Jr. (D), are outraged over this ad currently being ran in the state. The Republican candidate Bob Corker and Republican National Committee chairman Ken Mehlman have distanced themselves from the ad, saying that they don’t agree with it but have no control over it being ran.
Ken Mehlman says he writes a check to an independent individual who subsequently runs the ads. The system is a wonderful way of running negative smear campaigns against an opponent and then claiming no responsibilty for it. As the Irish Guiness men would say BRILLIANT!!
But come …read more

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