Ok, someone needs to get this bastard, he looks as youthful and invigorated as ever. I mean seriously, can’t the CIA find out where in the world this beach is and take that damn bubbly from his hands already!

Post from: Sirened

What’s wrong with marriage these days and what are some potential solutions?

John McCain seeks to win the internets.

Many Jewish Americans are tense about Barack Obama’s candidacy because he may lack the huevos to bomb Iran.

Iraqi forces welcomed into Sadr City without the help of American troops.

Personalized German stamps now have Nazi’s circulating the country.

Top Republican VP candidates gearing up for a weekend bbq with John McCain.

Joe Lieberman will not be satisfied until Palestine and Iran are wiped off the face of the Earth.

Hillary Clinton’s argument that she is winning the popular vote is fuzzy to say the least.

YouTube is a terrorist because it refuses to take Al-Qaeda related video off its site.

Ted Kennedy released from hospital and chillin’ in Cape Cod.

Oil prices hit new record high of $135!

American Airlines truly going to hell.

Aussies must battle kangaroo problem.

photo credit: personal collection

Post from: Sirened

While the other republican candidates have been traveling across the US competing to win states, Rudy Giuliani has been camped out in Florida for what seems like forever. Since coming to my home state, Rudy has managed to really get the 9/11 message out. In fact, he’s done such a great job of it; that I now feel like that creepy kid from The Sixth Sense- I see 9/11 everywhere!

Whether I’m in the grocery store, on the road, in bed or playing softball in the park-Rudy has managed to instill a solid 9/11 presence in the Florida air. It’s like I can constantly smell the intermingling aroma of burning jet fuel and human flesh. In fact, I feel like a terrorist hijacked airplane could come crashing through my home right now!

But apparently all this 9/11 stuff isn’t working out for Rudy now that he’s currently running 4th in Florida polls. Seriously, what’s it going to take here people? Does Rudy actually have to fly a plane into Cinderella’s castle for this issue to resonate here??

Anyways, Rudy has shifted gears a smidge and is now running ads for the biggest tax cuts ever! It’s so comprehensive that there are even tax exemptions if you’re homeless! In fact, being homeless has the biggest tax perks (although the naysayers may argue that it’s actually being uber wealthy) so this is great news for Florida residents whose homes have been foreclosed or bums who live under a bridge. Take that John Edwards! And you thought nobody else cared about poverty like you do. 

Rudy rockin’ duh Nascar vote from flickr.

Post from: Sirened

There has been a lot of talk about water boarding and whether or not it is torture as defined by the Geneva Convention and United States law. The president has said point blank, “we do not torture.” Really, water boarding sounds pretty innocent and maybe even fun. If I didn’t know it was used on terrorist suspects I would envision something along the lines of knee boarding in a lake, which actually can be torture depending on your skill and how fast the driver of the boat is going.

Anyways, here is a demonstration of water boarding just in case you’re curious. You may want to show this to your kids, their friends and some of the neighborhood children too. There’s a good chance that one day a baseball is going to come flying through your window and the culprits will most likely flee the scene of the crime. Thankfully water boarding is not torture and it is said to be a successful way to obtain information. So with that in mind, you can round up some suspects, and use the wonderful water boarding techniques that are displayed in this instructional video. You will most definitely obtain some kind of information by using this!

Post from: Sirened

Well, Thomas the Tankcredo is back at it again. In case you hadn’t heard, this man is running for president as a republican and currently serves as a congressman in Colorodo. Perhaps he spends too much time high up in the Rockies and not enough oxygen gets to his brain. This was the man that said the United States should not rule out bombing the holiest Muslim site in Mecca if we were to get attacked again. Yes, an all out Christian-Muslim war must be the answer, let’s just turn the clocks back about 600 years.

Post from: Sirened

Thanks for serving our country and putting your life on the line so we can enjoy quality programming such as American Idol and Dancing With the Stars.

Bettie Page image from Allposters.com

Post from: Sirened

In his endorsement of Giuliani, Robertson said “the overriding issue before the American people is the defense of our population from the blood lust of Islamic terrorists.” Wow, sounds pretty terrifying! Seems like “9/11″ Rudy really is the right man for the job, especially when the endorsement comes from a radical fundamentalist dude who agreed that 9/11 was punishment from God because we tolerate the gays and don’t stone them. Sure, seems logical.

Anyways kids, go celebrate this hate mongering union by throwing snickers bars in your local public swimming pool!

Rudy ”9/11″ celebratory bars image from this joint.

Post from: Sirened

Anyways, part of the November 5th drive for Ron Paul was invoking the memory of Guy Fawkes, an anti-protestant terrorist who back on June 5th, 1605 threatened to blow up the British parliament and assassinate King James I. Ron Paul supporters truly believe that Ron Paul represents a revolution in this country, and he truly is like Che Guevara because “Che” was a doctor too. 

So now that they have risen over $4 million in one day, the Ron Paul campaign is shooting for Hillary Clinton’s overall record of $6.2 million back on June 30th. And considering that on Monday alone, Ron Paul managed to garner an additional 21,000 donors who knows.  

I personally have not donated a cent to any of the candidates and now that Stephen Colbert has not been allowed on South Carolina’s democratic ballot, I figure what’s the point? But I know that my sister and her boyfriend have donated $100 each to the Ron Paul “revolution.” And my sister has attended some rallies and has a Ron Paul hat and Ron Paul wristbands. In fact, she was in Borders one day drinking coffee and upon seeing my sister wearing her Ron Paul hat, one girl asked, “so your part of the revolution too?”

Now that Ron Paul has raised $6.8 million in the first 5 months of this quarter it will be interesting to see if this finally starts to reflect in the polls as even Mike Huckabee is ahead of him. Paul has raised all this money with a largely thrifty campaign and loyal internet following spamming the news of him.

Who would have thought that at the next republican debate it could be John McCain asking Ron Paul if he can spare a few extra bucks to keep his campaign staff? And on one last sidenote, Ron Paul says he does not support blowing up buildings.

Ron “Che” Paul t-shirt can be purchased from this place.

Post from: Sirened

During the 60 Minutes piece the US military was quite candid about the analysis they use when undertaking air strikes. In fact, I think it was too candid. For high profile targets they can estimate killing up to 29 civilians without asking the president or secretary of defense. But if they estimate they will kill more than 30 they need a permission slip from one of the big wigs.

Of course, the US is a strong backer of Karzai’s government so he may be doing this to pander to his own people while at the same time telling us to continue bombing what we feel are necessary targets. Nonetheless, this is a messy situation. We are certainly not winning the hearts and minds of Afghani’s by killing innocent people and not hitting intended targets. Karzai’s government cannot succeed in the long term if this continues.

Image from this place.

Post from: Sirened

Yesterday, Condi “needs good dickin” Rice and company laid more ground work for a potential WWIII with harsh sanctions against Iran. The sanctions which are aimed at crippling Iran’s economy into giving up their nuclear enrichment program will definitely do more harm than good in regards to Iraq and perhaps beyond.

One of the root causes of terrorism is poverty as many suicide bombers families are paid large sums of money when the father or mother decides to detonate themselves in a public place. This is something that goes beyond religion and certainly beyond “people who don’t like freedom.” So if business in Iran takes a hit, the trickle down effect will create nothing but more impoverished and bitter people, thereby spawning more hatred towards Israel and the United States. And make no mistake; the interests of Israel and the USA are far from being perfectly aligned at the moment.

Terrorists are not grown in a bubble and dispersed to distant lands whereby the manufacturing center and supply can be completely destroyed. The problem is much more complex and convoluted than that-and for every “terrorist” we kill, two more are born.

I know the sanctions are meant to pressure Iran into giving up their nuclear program, but seeing as how Iran seems to be gathering more friends, like Russia, (who we have equally ticked off by announcing plans to build a missile defense system in the Czech Republic that is essentially aimed at them) this could backfire on a global scale. And I most certainly believe that this decision takes us another step backwards in Iraq.

Image from Political Humor.

Post from: Sirened