Hillary once again mentioned her Pennsylvania roots, making it awfully tricky to keep up as she seems to have roots in about 5 different states. Coincidentally, husband Bill has spread roots in more states but that information is not public.

So what made the difference in Pennsylvania? Racist white voters, particularly old racist white voters, the kind who were around when Barack would still have to use a separate water fountain to them. Obama outspent Clinton by 3-1 in Pennsylvania and that might not have been a good thing in that state. Many rural voters must have scratched their heads wondering why the colored fella’ kept comin’ on the TV to talk about running their country.

Last night the talking heads discussed far too many demographics that were important to both candidates, but there was a critical one for Hillary that was not discussed-voters with no teeth. This demographic heavily favored Clinton; as the ratio of teeth declined so did the probability that they voted for Hillary. Hillary has made no announcement of any thank you dental plans for these PA voters but perhaps she should consider it as Kentucky is just around the corner.

Meanwhile, latte sipping democratic elitists will get up from their golden toilets to flood Obama with more cash to continue fighting the pauper wing of the democratic party. Come on celebrities, there has to be even more of you waiting to come out of the woodwork to support Barack’s plan to turn the United States into France. Libertie, Egalitie, Fraternitie I say! Now that’s change I can believe in.

Post from: Sirened

How many people in the state really are, in fact bitter? Is the bitterness so pervasive that they can actually taste it each day when they go to their miserable jobs, deal with their ungrateful children and have to talk with their boring spouses? Does it taste something like a flat Old Milwaukee that just won’t stop repeating? Or like that rusty nail you just can’t resist licking?

There are many bitter and hopeless questions that Pennsylvanians are pondering at this very moment, as they decide between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Will clean drinking water be restored? Will the malaria end? And when will Red Cross aid workers stop getting shot by Philadelphia insurgents?

Post from: Sirened

What’s with all the conservative bashing of John McCain? [Crooks and Liars]

Will California determine the democratic nominee? 

[Huffington Post]

 Fun pic of John Kerry lounging with John McCain [RedState] Georgia’s dead primary precinct [Wonkette] 

 Rush Limbaugh continues his war on McCain [Drudge Report] Alabama turning blue?!? [Daily Kos]   

 Shocked monkey from this joint.

Post from: Sirened

Ultimately the respective democrat and republican nominees are not selected by the total number of citizens who actually voted for them, no that would be far too simple and democratic. They are chosen by delegates and each state is worth a certain number of delegates. On the republican side some states are winner take all while others divide their delegates based on the percentage of votes each candidate garners. But then there are the super delegates like governors and other dignitaries who represent votes at the respective conventions where the nominees are chosen. Dizzy yet?

For some, the delegate process might be confusing so let’s break this down as per the picture. Let’s say the front 3 hunters represent winner take all states, the back 2 represent split delegate states and the 2 dogs represent the super delegates (considering they don’t work and we have to pick up their shit they really are superior beings).

In order to be the nominee at our actual conventions, for a democrat it takes 2,025 delegates and 1,191 for a republican (again, making the number of delegates here equal would be far too straightforward).

That’s way too many for the above picture, so in my fictional scenario we’ll call this party the demo-repub’s and in order to win their nomination you need 4 out of 7 delegates. Again, to make this as simple as possible there are only two candidates vying for the demo-repub ticket. We’ll call these candidates Helen Omama and Matt McFry.

Post from: Sirened

Anyways, both the democrats and republicans are holding primaries in Florida on January 29th. But if that date doesn’t suit you, you should consider voting early, which is what I did.

As long as you’re in the county you are registered to vote in, you can swing by the public library with your driver’s license and they’ll give you your respective ballot. This was my first time doing the early voting thing (aside from casting an absentee ballot from overseas once) and I must say I was pleased with the process, especially with it being Florida and all.

I much preferred voting in the library to voting at the precinct on Election Day. First off, if you’re serious about voting, who knows what might happen on Election Day. What if your house burns down or you get kidnapped? Chances are you won’t get to vote and that’s a bummer. Then again, if you die before the election date, should your vote really count anyways? That’s some food for thought but beside the point.

Secondly, if voter turnout is high on January 29th, you may have to wait a decent bit at your precinct. That could mean missing out on the bus to Suncruz Casino. But with early voting the process is at your leisure and chances are you won’t have to wait (I didn’t). So get out there and do some early voting this weekend!

Crazy old guy (Ron Paul) image from this joint.

Post from: Sirened

Here’s a fun video from The Onion. Since politicians and the media are so obsessed with targeting various segments of society-age, ethnicity, promiscuity, etc; The Onion takes a look at a very large segment of our population that the candidates are now going after: the obese vote. Who will garner the most fat votes and what are the candidates doing to capture the hearts and minds of the American obese?

Post from: Sirened

In almost all families there is some degree of political difference, some large and some small. When gathering a family caucus it is important to leave out members who have a vastly different political position, chances are you will be left spinning your wheels in mud. It’s best to focus on family members (and friends!) with smaller political differences to yours. A family caucus can involve say, a family dinner or after church lunch. It can also involve individual meetings with family members, but however you do it; make a strong case as to why you are right and why they should vote along your lines.

Family (and friends!) caucusing is a great way to get around that stupid notion that we all have just one vote. Not really! If you are successful with family caucusing you can essentially (and legally) vote 2, 3 or even 10 times! And with American elections being so close these days, the family caucus has never been more important than now.

Family Ties image from allposters.com

Post from: Sirened

And hey, it’s Vegas baby, why not? What would Nevada caucuses be without holding some in casinos? It’s nice to be able to place a wager on who will win the Nevada caucus and then have some control over the outcome by loudly and furiously caucusing for your candidate (actually you can’t legally wager on this in Nevada so either see your bookie or place your wager online before caucusing).

The reason for the casino caucuses is to make it easier for casino employees to have a say in the process. I think it’s fantastic that someone can work, gamble and vote all under the same roof. That’s America baby! I think next time they should hold caucuses in brothels as well though. Why should prostitutes be left out of the political process?

The glitz and glamour of the casino from this place.

Post from: Sirened

The fraction of the 91% ethnically white Iowa has spoken and the winners are Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee. Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani were the biggest losers considering they both had the worst case scenarios happen to them. Hillary finished 3rd amongst dems behind Obama and John Edwards and Rudy Giuliani finished 6th amongst republicans with 4% of the votes.

Now I know Rudy Giuliani didn’t spend much energy on Iowa but 6th place?!? Are you kidding me? He finished behind Ron Paul! And Ron Paul didn’t just beat Rudolph; he crushed him with his 10%!

Fred Thompson finished 3rd and why not considering he didn’t do much. Mitt Romney did himself a disservice by doing too much; he massively out spent Huckabee and finished second. During the caucuses I was watching CNN’s coverage and Anderson Cooper said that it seems the more that people get to know Mitt Romney the more they seem to dislike him.

The same can certainly be said for Hillary Clinton. If Hillary didn’t stop into so many diners in Iowa, perhaps she would have won the caucus. All it takes is pissing off a few Iowa diners and that’s it, presidential campaign down the toilet!

Iowa is made up of about 3 million people but only about 350,000 people actually caucused. And not 350,000 on each side, that’s the total amount that caucused. So let’s be clear, it’s not Iowa that’s crucial to our presidential elections, it’s actually about 12% of Iowa!

Image from the NY Times.

Post from: Sirened

Isn’t the point of polls to predetermine the eventual winner of the respective nominations? How are people supposed to decide who to vote for if they don’t already know who everybody else is voting for? I’ve said this before on this site-I don’t want to vote for a loser!

I want to have bragging rights amongst friends that I voted for the eventual winner. But right now, I don’t have a clue! This election hasn’t even started yet and apparently people will be voting!

Thank goodness I don’t live in Iowa because it would be super humiliating to caucus for the eventual loser and have all my friends see me doing this firsthand. I would only hope that I knew some embarrassing and/or destructive secret about them so they’d keep their mouths shut; perhaps an STD or a marital affair with a sheep. I don’t know, I’m just brainstorming here.

Fortunately, I live in Florida so I will allow the good people of Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina to vote for me. After these 3 states decide, my vote will just be a formality and I will simply go through the motions and leave with my head held high. Yay democracy! And if something really screwy happens, I can always just lie.

Trippy clock image from this joint.

Post from: Sirened