Sirened

Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters
This isn’t a real story, it’s from The Onion but it’s absolutely hilarious and rings very true. After all, how else would George Bush have won the 2000 republican nomination over John McCain if it wasn’t for bullshit?
It’s amazing how much money people donate to presidential candidates to spread their messages of bullshit. On Sunday night, during CBS’s 60 Minutes, Rudy Giuliani ran an ad that was 45-60 seconds and was filled with nothing but bullshit. It was all about him being there on September 11th (who would be watching 60 Minutes …read more

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Well, it’s the first Tuesday of November so that means it’s an election day here in the US. Thing is, all those guys (and that lady) we’ve been seeing on TV talking about all the cool stuff they are going to do for our country aren’t even on the ballots today! Nope, just local stuff asking questions like whether companies can dump raw sewage in your backyard and crap like that. Also, make sure to vote for the local politicians who have more signs and posters up in your neighborhood. Chances are, this is the person that is going to win anyways so do you really want to …read more

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Yesterday morning, Stephen Colbert called in to some radio show to discuss his not being allowed on the South Carolina democratic ballot with “Brown Haired Guy That’s Not Steve Doocy” and who I am coining “Radio Guy That’s Not Brown Haired Guy That’s Not Steve Doocy.” Brown Haired Guy That’s Not Steve Doocy told Colbert that maybe next time he should take his candidacy more seriously in which Stephen replied “Listen here Brown Haired Guy That’s not Steve Doocy…!”

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Well, this came as quite a shock. Lot’s of people were asking Stephen Colbert to run for president (much like Fred Thompson) and members of the media kept asking him whether he would run. He played down the question on many occasions, sometimes acting as if the question was intrusive (much like many presidential candidates before they officially announce they are running).
Colbert made this stunning announcement on the Colbert Report but said he is only running in his home state of South Carolina. However, he will be running as both a Democrat and a Republican! This is a very refreshing …read more

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Nancy Pelosi says she will bring a resolution to the House floor declaring that Turkey committed genocide 90 years ago against native Armenians. It is widely thought that Ottoman Turks ethnically cleansed some 1.5 million Armenians starting in 1915, despite this Bush said “the mass killings” were not an act of genocide.
For obvious reasons Turkey is pretty pissed about this, it’s just not good PR. Especially when they are currently trying to ethnically cleanse Kurds. Do we really need to officially label an old Turkish holocaust when a new one is about to begin? How will they explain that their new mass killings …read more

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Oh that crazy gal, she really has some grapefruit size balls and she’s been back at it again, big time. Some recent comments include “If we took away a women’s right to vote we would never have to worry about another Democrat president.”  
In reference to Hillary Clinton, she said she would fight her presidential campaign because “She does not want to be fitted for a burqa.” Yes, Hillary becoming prez will inevitably lead to American women wearing burqa’s. Then again, you can just take away a woman’s right to vote and then they would never have to worry about being forced to …read more

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Go on any of the presidential candidate’s websites and the first thing addressed is money. They need your money to support their campaign because the more money they have, the louder their voice becomes and the more likely they are to be elected. This is what “democracy” in the United States has evolved into.
According to this chart on Opensecrets.org Hillary Clinton has raised the most money at $63 million and Barack Obama has raised the 2nd most at $59 million. It really is mind boggling, we are still 6 months from the Democratic primaries (and 16 months before the general election) and just …read more

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This is Ted Stevens, Republican Senator of Alaska. You know, the guy who said the internet is a series of tubes and they can get clogged if there is too much stuff. He is also the guy who last year, was outraged that the oil executives were almost sworn in at their Capitol Hill dog and pony show hearings. God forbid!
So we ask, great Senator or the greatest Senator? You can comment here and/or visit NewPoliticalReview.com and vote on Teddy and the 99 other Senators. The criteria of the voting is based on integrity, dignity, honor and character. In 2006, John …read more

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2007 only began 3 weeks ago and yet we already have a multitude of candidates who have either declared they are running or forming committees to run. They are a diverse group ranging from the half black, laid back Barack Obama to the coal up the ass, hard liner John McCain.
With all this diversity and illegal immigration being a problem, we feel there should be a Mexican candidate for President. How about Pedro from the film Napolean Dynamite? No candidate yet has promised to make all our dreams come true, if elected, Pedro does. So vote for Pedro!

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Today, Arnold Schwarzenegger was sworn in for a 2nd term as Governor of California. The Governator once again swore to protect and serve the people of California, whether that be from domestic or alien enemies.
Here we see an old picture of The Arnold saluting something, showing off most of his birthday suit. How much pot are they smoking over in California to elect this guy again? Is it just a big cloud of pot smoke hovering over that state? Then again, what the hell was the country thinking in re-electing The Decider? Maybe we should have to pass an IQ test in order …read more

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