This is particularly the case with CNN, who’s army of talking political heads is anchored by Wolf ‘The Beard’ Blitzer. Each night that a state has held a primary, CNN packs the studio with several fronts of talking heads and calls them “the best political team on television.” Now, I won’t dispute that claim given the sheer amount of talking heads and the subsequent mass of information that gets tossed at viewers as a result of so many opinions. Also, CNN has the best studio and graphics for its talking heads so that must count for something!

The talking political heads give us every bit of information we could possibly want to know-and often so much more! Like who won white Catholic voters under the age of 50? Or who won Bumblefuck County, Kentucky? Hmm, can I have ‘I don’t give a shit’ for $100 Alex? Is this really that important to the average person who isn’t working on a political campaign? Or even for many people that closely follow and write about politics such as myself. Absolutely not-but the networks have to fill air time.

But why not occasionally break to something else newsworthy during the primary coverage extravaganza? Why not give a brief update of oh, I don’t know, thousands of people dying in Myanmar and China (“news”) rather than incessant and self indulgent talking heads babble for hours on end. Like who won the racist lumberjack vote?

Even though I now live in Europe I still occasionally watch CNN’s political coverage because CNN International breaks to The Situation Room late at night (it’s like porn for political junkies). I will say that I sometimes find the talking heads amusing but I really think they should provide more entertaining demographic polls. Here are my proposals for Puerto Rico, South Dakota and Montana:

1)Who wins lonely white males most likely to become another ‘unabomber?’

2)Who wins promiscuous white catholic females under the age of 25?

3)Who wins gay midget voters?

4)Who wins white pedophiles? (only the ones that mucked up because they really believed she was 18, not the total sickos of course)

5)Who wins ‘busty’ Latin women?

6)White males with large penises? White males with small penises? Black males with large penises? Black males with sm-never mind.

photo credit: flickr creative commons

Post from: Sirened