This was the scene at an Amsterdam bar last night when the Netherlands scored in the waning minutes of regulation to force extra time with Russia. The packed bar erupted in cheer and everyone hugged one another in celebratory relief.

The celebration was not to last though, as in the second half of extra time Russia scored 2 goals to put the nail in The Netherlands Euro Cup coffin. Nederlands, who were the best team in group play, outscoring their opponents 9-1, seemed to struggle a bit in the role of favorite. And Russia, as the underdog playing with less pressure, simply played a little harder and of course, caught a few lucky bounces.

I’ll hand it to the Dutch for being classy though, in a jam packed bar of orange there was a group of 5 Russian fans who periodically chanted Russia, Russia, Russia. The Dutch simply shrugged it off, chanted back and when the game was over and all was quiet except for the 5 Russians, nobody gave them a hard time.

This was the stunned Dutch scene afterwards. But hey, cheer up guys, it could be much worse, at least your not Russian!

photo credit: personal collection

Post from: Sirened

Portugal was able to cut the deficit to 2-1 in the 42nd minute, but Germany extended the lead to 3-1 in the 62nd minute. Portugal scored a dramatic goal in the 87th minute to make the ending a nail biter, but the Germans held on.

The nice thing about Portugal’s exit from the tournament is that I won’t have to see Cristiano Ronaldo’s retarded mullet anymore. Dude makes millions of Euros which is like billions of dollars and for some reason thinks his flashy Euro mullet is acceptable viewing for hundreds of millions of people.

Germany will now have a semifinal date between the winner of Croatia and Turkey (who are cheaters because most of their country is actually in Asia). On the other side of the bracket and which is all the rage here in Holland, The Netherlands plays Russia (also cheaters) in a quarterfinal match to be played Saturday. So far the Dutch have been the most impressive team in the tournament, winning the “group of death” by defeating Italy 3-0, France 4-1 and Romania 2-0. Italy advanced as the #2 seed and will play Spain in their quarterfinal.

Despite The Netherlands dominance, they will face a stiff challenge from a young and upstart Russian squad. Not to mention the fact that Putin may order their food to be poisoned. Germany and The Netherlands cannot meet unless they both make the finals, but that’s what I’m rooting for, as someone cheering for Holland simply because I live here, bring on Deutschland! We’re taking you guys down damnit!

photo credit: flickr creative commons

Post from: Sirened

1)The clock never stops and thus there is no accurate time. Ok, so many foreigners argue that Americans go too far with the accuracy of the clock, particularly in basketball where the clock goes down to tenths of a second in the final minute. But hell, at least we get it right! In soccer, the clock just keeps going and the referees add some ambiguous injury time, stopping the half and match by totally guesstimating. WTF??

2)Championships Decided by Penalty Kicks! Are you kidding me? This is my biggest pet peeve with soccer. I’ve seen several championships decided by a total bastardization of the sport. Just this year Manchester United won the Champions League over Chelsea via penalty kicks. In the 2006 World Cup, Italy beat France via penalty kicks. It’s absolutely outrageous and I recently expressed this sentiment to a Dutch friend who said “what, do you want to see them play all night?” To which I replied “YES!” I’m a hockey fan, they play ALL NIGHT if they have to. Hockey championships never have and never will be decided by penalty shots.

3)Guys who shank balls and put their hands on their head, staring into the sky in grimacing agony. This is the international soccer move for when a guy royally screws up by blasting a great scoring chance 20 feet over the net. Seriously dude, you weren’t even close, get over it, hustle back and try to at least get a little closer next time!

4)David Beckham. That guy just bugs me.

5)Guys who commit dirty as hell penalties, then immediately get all Shakespearean to act like they didn’t do anything. This happens in every sport, but it just seems fruitier in soccer. I mean seriously, you’ll see a guy step on the back of another guys foot (a move that could tear an Achilles Tendon) and then immediately wave their finger at the official yelling “No, No!” Umm, yes yes, please take your red card and sit on the bench.

6)Dumb Shit in Big Moments. One of the biggest was French soccer star Zinadine Zidane head butting an Italian player in overtime of the 2006 World Cup championship game. He was red carded for that, forcing him to leave and leaving the French team a man down, to which they lost the championship. During this year’s Champions League Final, the game went to overtime between Chelsea and Manchester United. So naturally one of the Chelsea players gave a little bitch slap to a Man U. player that resulted in his ejection, and again, Man U. won the championship. Now I know these other guys must have said something really dumb, but seriously, it’s overtime in the championship game, get your shit together!

7)Diving. This happens in every sport but again, it’s particularly fruity and frequent in soccer. Guys love to trip over and pretend to be in agonizing pain in an attempt to draw a yellow card for their opponent. Bro, I know you’re not used to playing fair, but when there’s a billion people watching, can you perhaps try?

8)The 3 Man Substitution Rule. This rule does not bother me during regulation time, it makes the game interesting by making it even more of a chess match. Besides, these guys get paid fantastic money so they should be sweating balls by the time they exchange jerseys at the end. What bothers me is that the rule extends to overtime. Because of the limited substitutions it’s too much of a physical toll to ask players to play beyond 30 additional minutes. I say increase the substitutions to allow the guys to play through, or fuck it, just have them play through anyways. Eventually someone will blow their assignment by collapsing and allowing the other team to score, thereby going home to have rotten fruits and vegetables thrown at their head.

9)Coaches who win championships and immediately get fired. This happened to the coach of Inter-Milan this year. After he won the Italian League championship he was fired because he had talked some crap earlier in the season. To ownership: Get over it, he just won a championship for you.

10)Fans forced to throw the ball back. Can’t the fans keep the freakin’ ball? I mean seriously, they pay good money to get in and the balls don’t cost that much. Let a few people go home with an amazing souvenir, one they might actually cherish for the rest of their lives. God forbid!

photo credit: flickr creative commons

Post from: Sirened

Ok, so this was just the first match of Euro Cup 2008 for the Netherlands, but seeing as how they managed an upset victory over defending World Cup champions Italy, this is a huge deal. And 3-0!?! Jesus, 3 goals in soccer is like scoring 42 points in an NFL game!

As I’m writing this there are people yelling out their windows in my apartment building and honestly, why the hell not? The Netherlands hasn’t exactly enjoyed a great deal of international success in recent years, failing to even qualify for the 2002 and 2006 World Cup’s.

Of course, qualifying out of arguably the most competitive continent in the world’s most popular game is no easy task. Ask Greece, who stunned Europe by winning Euro Cup 2004 and then failed to qualify for the 2006 World Cup.

Also ask England, who amazingly did not qualify to play in Euro Cup 2008. Grateful for this of course are residents and police in host countries Switzerland and Austria. English soccer fans have a rich history of burning shit and causing general chaos, win or lose!

So since I’m living in Holland now and the continent is a buzz with Euro Cup fever, look forward (or don’t since it’s soccer) to some posts about the 2nd most watched event in the world. And again, big congrats to the Netherlands on a big upset win!

photo credit: my personal collection

Post from: Sirened