Last night John Stewart wrapped up the historic events of Tuesday: Barack Obama becoming the first African-American nominee for president of the United States, Hillary Clinton getting more votes than anyone in history (according to Clintonian math) and John McCain speaking in New Orleans to a small group of hobos.

At least Hillary has made it known that she will officially concede on Friday, psych, Saturday. Yay, the “long baton death march to the White House” will finally be over-for the democrats. And just 5 more months until the general election, and then an additional month for the Supreme Court to decide that John McCain will be president.

My role in all this: Talking some shit on this site and 1/2 a vote for Barack Obama, Florida style baby!

Post from: Sirened

In light of this monumental occasion, I thought it would be fun to look back at some of my coverage of the long road to the democratic nomination (when I felt like covering it).

In February 2007, when the first outbreaks of Obama Fever were spreading, I wrote that the republicans were desperate to find an Obama vaccine. More than a year later they (and the Clinton’s) thought they had one in Jeremiah Wright, but the American public proved resistant to the strain.

Back in June, 2007 when Sirened was a little more serious than the game of grab ass it is today, I mentioned that I was leaning towards Barack Obama but also posed a policy idea for him.

With support of Barack Obama in hand, Sirened used sexism as a tool and invoked the great memory of Al Bundy’s “No Ma’am” group.

Sirened played the race card too, asking some questions to see if you are capable of voting for a black candidate. Questions like, when you play roulette do you bet on black?

Back on January, 24th of this year, I jumped the gun and incorrectly projected the next president of the United States…Bill ‘Slick Willy’ Clinton! Then again, the Clinton’s have not conceded yet and perhaps are still holding on to hope they can believe in…that Obama will get shot.

As Hillary waits on the results from primaries in Britain and France, Obama can finally celebrate his victory.

photo credit: flickr creative commons

Post from: Sirened

Wow! I had no idea that Barack Obama’s church was SO funny. I don’t go to church and I don’t live in Chicago, but next time I’m in town I’ll be sure to catch a show!

Post from: Sirened

Obama currently sits at 1,882 delegates, just 143 delegates short of the 2,025 needed to win. Of course, the Clinton campaign argues that he needs 2,209 delegates to win because of Florida and Michigan.

The Clinton campaign keeps stressing that even though Florida voters knew their votes wouldn’t count, the state democratic party had a record turnout. That’s an incredible overstatement and I haven’t heard or read the mainstream media calling them out on it-and they damn well should!

The reason turnout was so high in Florida was because of a statewide property tax amendment to cut homeowners taxes (at the expense of schools, fire departments, county jobs, etc.) This was a big issue in Florida and Gov. Charlie Crist was a big advocate of the tax cut, even appearing on billboards stating vote yes on the tax cut.

The amendment needed 60% to pass and it got it. Since then, the state universities have been scrambling to cut their budgets while at the same time raising tuition for students; fire stations have closed and state employees have been laid off. This was a tough issue and opponents of the tax cut (like myself) were against it because of the negative impact to the community.

Along with the property tax amendment there was something else on the ballot for Florida voters to decide on January 29th-the democratic and republican primaries. Since Florida is a closed primary, independent ballots only had the property tax amendment on them.

Sure, some people showed up mostly to vote for the candidates, but to say the record democratic turnout in Florida was because of them is a complete lie-but it’s the Clinton’s so could we possibly expect more?

photo credit: personal collection

Post from: Sirened

Democratic Jedi battle to be president of the universe!

Barack Obama as Luke Skywalker

Hillary Clinton as Darth Vader

Bill Clinton as Emperor Palpatine

Post from: Sirened

It’s not a bad idea for Hillary to stay in the race because who knows, Barack could get assassinated or something, especially having to campaign in West Virginia and Kentucky, not exactly bastions of any kind of progressive thinking. Besides, those states are Hillary country, filled with lots of “Joe six packs” and she is leading Barack by a zillion points there.

So let’s have a look at West Virginia this week, specifically democratic senator Robert Byrd. Robert Byrd is the democratic version of Strom Thurmond when he was alive before dying at the ripe old age of a thousand. At 91 years old, Byrd is currently the longest serving member of the Senate, having represented West Virginia since 1959. He is also a former Klu Klux Klan member and get this, he is President pro tempore of the Senate making him third in line to the presidency behind Dick Cheney and Nancy Pelosi!

Senator Byrd was in the KKK during the 40’s and deeply opposed the integration of blacks into the army saying “Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.” Yikes! He also said “I shall never fight in the armed forces with a Negro by my side.”

While Byrd left the KKK, he opposed the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965. While Byrd has apologized for these things, it was only a few years ago that on the Senate floor he said “there are white niggers. I’ve seen a lot of white niggers in my time.”
Congratulations on what will be a landslide victory in West Virginia on Tuesday Senator Clinton!

photo credit: my personal collection 

Post from: Sirened

All kinds of celebrities have endorsed Barack Obama, if celebrities were Super Delegates Hillary would be done already. He’s even winning fake pretend endorsements from fictional Sesame Street characters!

In other Obama celebrity endorsement news, the real Tom Hanks recently released a video on his MySpace page endorsing Barack Obama. It’s not very funny unless you count how goofy Hanks looks or the fact that he felt the need to mention that African Americans were once thought of as 3/5 of a person in American history (that’s not funny of course except that he makes it seem like that’s part of the reason he’s endorsing Obama). At least he warns you ahead in the video that it’s another celebrity political endorsement.

Post from: Sirened

Fun picture of John Kerry checking out some college girls tits.

Ah Europe and their crazy commercials, here’s one for a copy machine where the girl accidentally copies up her skirt.

John McCain has a backup plan if he’s not elected president of the USA: to be elected president of Mexico.

Will young Obama supporters in Indiana and NC choose bong swats or the voting booth today?

A wonderful compilation of the American president acting like a dancing buffoon.

John McCain said he didn’t vote for George Bush in 2000. Apparently his wife forgot to write it in his calendar.

Hillary Clinton hates math.

With all the crap going on in the world, is Rev. Jeremiah Wright really that much of an issue? And how much has Faux News slanted his message?

Live in Bushwick? Interested in appearing in a gang bang? This site has the funny sign up sheet.

John McCain confused about whether he was in West Virginia or North Carolina.

photo credit: personal collection

Post from: Sirened

Obama seems frustrated by the fact that he can’t, in the words of Mortal Combat, finish her! There was of course his famous “can I just eat my waffle?” remark when asked by journalists in a diner what he thought of Hamas’ endorsement of his candidacy.

Of course, Hillary has been frustrated and irritable for months now, going from heavy favorite to long shot, do whatever it takes, scrap and claw like an angry dog, destroy the democratic party if I have to candidate. In early January, when the polls were heavily in her corner she said that “the voters will decide.” Then when the voters decided she said that the Super Delegates should decide because they know more about the process. Very convenient stuff-also 100% USDA certified bullshit.

Recently Hillary jumped on the John McCain train to senior discounts by advocating for the gas tax holiday. Barack Obama (and like every economist) have denounced the “holiday” because ultimately the price of gas would barely drop as oil companies would just raise their prices to make even greater hordes of cash (remember kids and old fogies like John McCain, gasoline, like cigarettes and alcohol is relatively inelastic).

The gas tax holiday has been a contentious issue particularly in Indiana where poll after poll has shown both candidates in a statistical dead heat for weeks. And with Obama’s denouncement of the proposal, Hillary has used this as another reason for why Obama hates Americans.

Anyways, on yet another very important day in the process, here’s a clip of Hillary’s beloved ‘Slick Willy’ on why you should vote for Obama. Doh!

Post from: Sirened