I suspect it will go something like this:

Moderator: Governor Palin, why is it important to keep troops in Iraq?

Palin: We must fight them there so we don’t fight them here. Terrorists ya know, fight them over there. This is an area of expertise for me because I am an expert in foreign policy being the governor of Alaska which is in between terrorist Canada er Russia I mean. Putin is a terrorist because he flies over my home state and it’s our job to keep an eye out on him.

Moderator: How do you keep an eye on him?

Palin: Because it’s Alaska and it’s Russia with just some frozen ice hockey water in between. Speaking of which, you know the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? LIPSTICK! And not on a pig like that black fella’ said.

Moderator: Umm, ok then. Senator Biden, explain your position on withdrawing troops from Iraq?

Biden: [Crying from laughter] I’m so sorry, they prepped me for this but I just can’t help myself. She’s so cute though isn’t she? Reminds me of Dennis Kusinich’s wife, that’s the thing I like most about that guy [wiping tears from his eyes].

But seriously, Biden should be fine as long as he doesn’t do something like this to her…

Post from: Sirened

His latest “gaffe” was this morning as he accidentally used the word battalion instead of brigade.

You have to be shitting me, having this on the front page during their convention, “attacking” the vice presidential nominee. All the while their presidential nominee isn’t even sure if he has his pants on or not.

Things sure are looking splendid for the GOP come November’s election with McNuts and Miss Separatist on their ticket. Thank god for the Biden gaffe ticker though!

photo credit: flickr 

Post from: Sirened

The John Edwards affair: Didn’t surprise me at all. How can you trust a guy who says fighting poverty has become his life’s mission and then goes out and gets a $400 haircut, then runs an ad that poor people helped fund to discuss “how pretty” he is. Thank goodness Edwards didn’t win the democratic nomination. Then again, it would have made for a hell of an interesting convention! Much more interesting than the little dog and pony show we witnessed.

Olympic Games in China: Good stuff. Every oppressive regime should get to hold an Olympics, cause why not? And the Chinese proved that putting on the greatest opening ceremonies ever requires personal sacrifice, mainly gross human rights violations that included performers having to train in diapers. You gots to love the 21st century Olympic spirit!

Obama’s pick of Joe Biden. Solid pick but boring. Barack Obama is a very smart man with excellent judgement and I knew he’d make a good VP choice. In short, an old white guy.

The DNC Convention: Jesus Christ what was that? Nancy Pelosi looked like she was presenting at the Oscars or something. And the role call? What a cute touch with Hillary ending it and passing the Clintonian torch to Barack Obama.

Obama’s democratic acceptance speech: Great speech! But how the hell does he realistically plan to cut taxes and pay for all that, while the United States has been placed in a 9 trillion dollar deficit. He perhaps should have went with listen, things are pretty fucked up, I’ll work over the next 4-8 years to get the ship turned around, then the next guy can stear us back on course.

McCain’s choice of Sarah Palin: LOL! I have to say, I was really hoping for Mitt Romney because I find his bullshit demeanor hysterical- though I knew it would not happen after the democrats made an issue of all the McCain houses. Damnit, you guys jumped the gun! But John McBush checking out Palin’s ass just after she was introduced as his VP choice was classic stuff. So John McInsane. Apparently McCain thinks that some Americans are stupid enough to believe that Sarah Palin is an acceptable replacement for Hillary Clinton because hey, she’s a woman too. Good call on the part of McCain’s aides, too many Americans are just that stupid.

Post from: Sirened